


The Surrogate Hypothesis

by Daedaleopsis



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 06:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12293727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daedaleopsis/pseuds/Daedaleopsis
Summary: Desperate circumstances convince Penny to be a surrogate for Sheldon and Amy's baby. But when Amy dumps Sheldon, he still insists that Penny hold up her end of the bargain. *Shenny*AU from Season 4, Episode 20, The Herb Garden Germination; cross-posted on fanfiction.net





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, according to AO3, this is the 700th Shenny fanfiction on this site. That's a good reason to party! Who's with me?

Penny thought Sheldon's suggestion was a joke. It had to be. There was no other way her brain could process his calmly stated proposition that she become a surrogate mother for his and Amy's test-tube baby. She couldn't imagine two people less suited to be parents. They wouldn't even admit they were dating, for crying out loud. So even though the next time he brought up the subject, it was in person and seemed not only sincere but almost humble, she couldn't come up with any other response than slamming the door in his face.

In retrospect, she probably shouldn't have told Leonard, but she thought he would find it funny: his crazy roommate, going off on some insane scheme. Instead, he got jealous. _Jealous_ , like she had promised Sheldon something that belonged to him instead. It didn't matter to him that she had turned Sheldon down flat. All Leonard could think about was how much he wanted to see her pregnant with his child, and how she kept resisting his efforts to possess her more completely. The disagreement quickly escalated into a shouting match. It ended with Leonard storming out of his apartment while Penny went home to drown her problems in a bottle of wine, as she did more and more often of late.

The next evening, after Penny had suffered through a miserable day at work due to her hangover, Leonard showed up with flowers and that pathetically hopeful expression. She took him back, of course. It wasn't like she had any other likely prospects anyway. They were making out on the brown leather couch and Penny was looking forward to some emotionally-charged makeup sex, and that was when Leonard dropped the bomb. He'd gone to a bar last night, got wasted and apparently gone home with some skank whose name he couldn't remember. But it wasn't really cheating because he'd been drunk, right?

Penny wished she had a drink in her hand to throw in his face or maybe just to dull the pain. She recalled all too clearly when he'd come to her for advice on how to cheat on Priya and get away with it. Stupidly, she'd thought she was his one true love and he would never do that to her. Stupid, she realized, because that was exactly how things had gone with Kurt, six years ago. Leonard tried to argue that this fell under the rules of the beta test. He was sure he could fix the problem simply by promising not to do it again, but something had gone cold inside of Penny. She realized that this was who he was, and no matter how much he felt like he was in love, it wouldn't change his cheating nature. She told him it was over for good and ordered him out of her apartment. Leonard probably went home to mourn his misfortune and listen to his favorite emo CD's. (The second part she knew for sure; she could hear the music from across the hall.) Penny was mad that he had been unfaithful, but angrier still that he thought she would believe him when he swore it would never happen again. Once a cheater, always a cheater, she reminded herself.

Penny poured herself another drink, feeling like she needed it desperately. She'd had a boyfriend back in high school who'd had a temper. Ryan had hit her once, open-handed across the face, while they were fighting. Afterward, he had brought her flowers and begged for her to forgive him. Eventually, she took him back. The next time they argued, he gave her a black eye. There was no hiding it, and it had taken all of her mother's persuasive efforts to keep her dad from going to prison for manslaughter. He'd threatened to hunt the guy down and beat him to a pulp. Once she'd dropped 4H and baseball in exchange for boys and cheerleading, her relationship with her dad had been strained and distant. That night, for the first time in years, Penny felt like her dad really loved her. It gave her the strength she needed to end the abusive relationship.

She never thought her relationship with Leonard was anything like that. He was sweet and nice, if occasionally petty and jealous. But he had changed after dating Priya. Priya was both smart and pretty, making both Penny and Leonard aware that he could do better. Penny wasn't getting any younger, and her acting career was going nowhere, so the beta test seemed like her last, best hope of having something to show for her life. Except now Leonard had a new self-confidence, and even though he still had feelings for Penny, the balance of power had shifted. He started acting like Penny was the one who was lucky to have him. More and more, he treated her like a trophy, showing nude photos of her to people who were barely acquaintances. With that attitude, perhaps the cheating was inevitable. A sexual conquest of another pretty girl was a validation of his ego. She had never cheated on a boyfriend, so why did she keep ending up with guys who cheated on her?

She spent the next few weeks living off of cheap wine and expired cheesecake from work, ignoring in equal measure Leonard's begging her to take him back and the bills piling up unopened on her counter. Lately she'd been spending more and more of her meager salary on wine and shoes: so what? She figured that all of her financial problems would be solved once she married Leonard. But now she was faced with a dilemma: take Leonard back in the full knowledge that he was a cheater, or move back home with her parents in Nebraska and essentially start all over again. She couldn't stomach either of those options.

She'd forgotten all about Sheldon's crazy plan until one night when they were doing laundry together. She had to admit, she missed those simpler times when they hung out in the basement and chatted over the hum of the machines. It was probably that wave of nostalgia that made her confess to Sheldon that she was so far behind on her rent and utilities that she might have to move back home. Predictably, he panicked at first. He hated change, especially when it was thrust upon him with no time to thoroughly plan for the event and invent scenarios which would cover every possible contingency. After he had some time to think about it, he again brought up the idea of her being a surrogate mother.

She stammered, blinking at him in shock. How on earth could he consider fathering a child when he couldn't even drive himself to work? She asked it aloud, and he seemed pleased by her question. He outlined an intensely detailed plan which gave her the option of continuing to provide child care for the infant while he and Amy were busy working.

She didn't respond; she couldn't. It was completely insane, and yet here she was, listening to his plans, or at the very least, not stopping him as he blathered on. A little voice in the back of her mind said that bringing a child into the world - especially an intellectually gifted one as she was sure that Sheldon and Amy's kid would be - was something worthwhile, certainly a better accomplishment than simply getting married.

It took a few more weeks for Penny to agree, but the deciding factor was the money Sheldon would be paying her. It was either that, or move back to Nebraska. So she told the two of them she would have a baby for them. Of course, once she did, Amy showed a disturbing fascination with the details of Penny's menstrual cycle. But in the end, all Penny would really need to do was lie on an exam table while microscopic, fertilized eggs were implanted inside of her. Sheldon had prepared a surrogate contract that was over two hundred pages long. She tried to read through it but ultimately gave up trying to decipher his legalese and just signed it.

Sheldon and Amy signed their own relationship contract and immediately began to look for a fertility specialist. After the first doctor had stared at them as if they were crazy and bluntly suggested they try the old-fashioned way of conception, they went to another doctor, and then another. Finally, they found one who was willing to accede to their demands, and Amy began the series of hormonal injections designed to stimulate ovulation. Penny later found out that the fertility treatment procedure placed such a great strain on relationships that many didn't survive the process. It wasn't Amy's fault that the hormones seemed to turn her into a raving maniac. Her wild mood swings were like nothing Sheldon had ever experienced, and he was soon flinching every time she walked into the room. She would often start screaming at him for absolutely no reason. (Penny could hear her from across the hall.) Sometimes, she would go over and try to calm Amy down, more out of sympathy for Sheldon than from any real desire to cross "Pregzilla", which was Penny's uncreative and very private nickname for the hormonal Amy.

Her crazy mood swings were also the final straw for Leonard, who had quickly moved on after Penny dumped him. He started dating Alex, who had worked briefly for Sheldon as his assistant and had moved on to an internship with a defense contractor. Alex had met Pregzilla Amy once, very briefly, but it made her feel sorry enough for Leonard to agree to let him move in with her. He was out within a week, leaving Sheldon to sleep in the metaphorical bed he had made.

Amy's first round of fertility treatments was unsuccessful, and she reacted badly to the unwelcome news. The doctor did his best to reassure her in a professional capacity, but his personal feelings were far less positive. He couldn't imagine why she was trying to bring a child into this bizarre relationship of hers. Her boyfriend not only didn't want to touch her, he hadn't even shown up for her latest appointment.

Amy was already furious with Sheldon for his no-show earlier that day, and learning that the attempt to harvest viable eggs from her had failed drove her into a seething rage. When she went to confront him, he retreated into his room, locking the door behind him. She had been standing outside his room, berating him through the locked door, when a strange whirring noise interrupted her. Moments later, strips of paper were shoved underneath the door. She picked them up with a strong desire to braid them into a rope that she could use to throttle her boyfriend.

"What's this?" she snarled.

"Apparently, you don't recognize our relationship agreement. I have shredded it," Sheldon replied. "You have two minutes to vacate the premises before I place a domestic disturbance call to the local police."

Amy fumed and ranted until the very last second, and then she stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door so hard that a number of knickknacks fell off the wall and bookshelves. Sheldon crept cautiously out of his room after another twenty minutes. He was seriously considering getting a restraining order against her, but he hoped it wouldn't be necessary. The relief he felt was so enormous that he couldn't believe he had lived with so much stress for so long. It was partly his fault, he was forced to admit. He had been so sure that both he and Amy were reasonable people who could find a rational solution to any problem. But apparently, she hadn't been able to rise above her emotions, and he knew that hiding in his room wasn't really a logical reaction either. It was an emotional one. He had been scared and intimidated. The only conclusion he could reach was that he was never going to attempt a relationship of a romantic nature again.


	2. Chapter 2

The next evening, Sheldon went over to Penny's apartment. She opened the door to his triple knock with her usual sunny smile and a greeting of "What's up, buttercup?" The relief he felt at seeing her friendly grin was so palpable he could have hugged her. He didn't, of course, but his hands opened and closed convulsively as if he wished he could.

"May I come in? I have something I need to discuss with you," he said.

Once he was seated in her living room, he told her that he had broken up with Amy. He was surprised when she smiled in reaction to his news, and even more startled when she reached over and gave him a hug. Since she had initiated it, he didn't mind returning the embrace. Finally, Penny pulled away and searched his face. After a moment, she shook her head slightly and leaned back to an appropriate distance.

"Are you okay, sweetie? What are you going to do now?" Penny asked sympathetically.

"My first order of business hasn't changed in the past three weeks: I am still searching for a roommate who can provide me with transportation to work and other places. Since I am responsible for the full amount of the rent now, and since Amy and I will no longer need a surrogate as we have dissolved our relationship contract, I need you to return the money I paid you."

Penny looked away as her face slowly suffused with color. "I don't have it," she muttered under her breath.

Unfortunately for her, Sheldon could hear her perfectly. He leapt to his feet. "What do you mean, you don't have it? What did you do with it?" he cried.

"I... I spent it," she confessed.

"On what?" he growled. Then a shocked look of comprehension came over his face. He strode to her bedroom and yanked open the door. The floor of her bedroom was almost hidden under piles of shoes of every color and style.

Penny trailed after him. "I had to get them!" she wailed. "Everyone says your feet can grow up a size bigger when you're pregnant and stay that way! This was my last chance to wear all those cute shoes!"

"That is the most illogical statement I've ever heard! How much did you spend on all these overpriced accessories?"

She didn't answer except to put her hands over her face. She walked back into the living room and sank in a miserable huddle on the loveseat, with Sheldon trailing after her. Her shoulders shook, and a small sob escaped her. "You don't know what it's like," she cried. "I thought I'd get married to Leonard, and that would fix everything! My career is in the toilet, I'm doing nothing with my life, and I needed to do something to feel better about myself!"

Sheldon was still feeling rather annoyed with her, but his righteous indignation was gone. In some sense, he could relate. He too had been feeling rather lost and abandoned since Leonard moved out, not that he would ever admit it. His pride would never allow him to beg Leonard to move back in. Besides, Leonard seemed very serious about Alex, and she was equally enamored with him. He doubted he could say or do anything that would entice him to come back. He looked at Penny speculatively, his mind racing. They both were at a loss without Leonard, but perhaps they could help each other.

"I believe there is an obvious solution to our situation," he said slowly, sitting down next to her on the loveseat.

Penny lifted her tear-streaked face. "What's that?" she asked.

"The reproductive surrogate contract you signed is still valid; indeed, Amy's absence changes very little. Unless you can reimburse me for the full amount, I will need to insist that you fulfill your end of the bargain. Once you have conceived, you can move into Leonard's old room. I will be able to monitor your condition more closely and prevent you from making foolish decisions like spending thousands of dollars on designer shoes. I will also recompense you for services rendered such as transporting me to work and the comic book store."

She stared at him. "Uh… you want to get me pregnant… without Amy?"

"Precisely," he said, happy that for once she seemed to have a decent grasp of the situation. He was wrong about that, though. She looked him over speculatively, and then her eyes darkened as she smiled at him.

"Hell yeah," she muttered. In the next moment, Penny grabbed his the collars of his double-layered shirts, pulled him close and fastened her mouth on his. Her tongue swept into his open mouth, and for several heartbeats, he was too shocked to react. His hands settled on her shoulders, but they didn't seem to be responding to his mental commands to push her away. He expected to feel revolted, but instead he felt a surge of unexpected desire. Shocked more by his own response than her actions, he finally gathered his wits and escaped her grasp.

"What do you think you're doing?" he cried.

"I thought you wanted to…" she began, and then she groaned and hid her face in her hands. It was at this exact moment that Sheldon glanced over at her kitchen counter and noticed the empty bottle of wine.

"You need purpose and structure in your life. I can provide those things for you, but you must stop drinking," he said. His tone was calm, almost gentle, even though his mind was still reeling at the idea that Penny had attempted to initiate coitus with him. Did she actually feel desire for him, or was that merely a symptom of her intoxication?

"I need help," Penny's voice was muffled by her hands which were still covering her face. "I didn't mean to… I'm sorry. I'm such a mess."

He patted her on the shoulder. "There, there, Sheldon's here." He meant it much more than she could comprehend at this moment. With Amy gone from his life, she was his most important female friend. He realized that had been true for some time, even before he had severed ties with Amy. He wasn't sure if he could fix what was wrong with Penny, but he made up his mind to try.

* * *

Penny showed up at his place the next night, carrying a plastic shopping bag. She hesitated, hovering in the doorway, and her hands were visibly trembling.

"Are you sure about this whole pregnancy thing?" she asked softly. "It's gonna change both of our lives, big time."

Sheldon looked at the dark circles under her eyes and the slump of her shoulders. Right now, change was something they both needed to embrace. "I'm certain," he said, despite his irrelevant qualms and shaking hands.

"Okay, then. I think the timing's right for me. These are for you," she said. From out of the bag, she pulled a couple of magazines and a sealed medicinal specimen cup. His eyes widened as he saw the scantily-clad women on the covers of the magazines. "And this is for me," she said, holding up a turkey baster.

"Penny, that's not at all sanitary…" he began with a frown, but she cut him off.

"There's no way in hell I'm going to a fertility clinic. Just thinking about it is enough to give me nightmares about Pregzilla Amy. If we're going to do this, we do this by ourselves." She looked from the magazines to the baster, and one corner of her mouth quirked up in a wry smile. "The natural way," she quipped.

Sheldon spent twenty minutes in the kitchen, boiling water so he could sterilize the turkey baster. Once that was completed, there was no more reason to delay. Without making eye contact with Penny, he pinched a magazine distastefully between finger and thumb and disappeared into his bedroom. Penny sat on the leather couch and tried to watch TV, but she was jittery and unable to concentrate on anything. Sheldon seemed to be taking a long time, but then again, maybe he was as nervous as she was. Finally, he returned, holding the plastic cup which contained a small amount of milky white fluid. She took it from him with a sharply inhaled breath. This was going to be the first time in her life that she was actually trying to get pregnant, rather than prevent it.

She headed down the hallway, and Sheldon followed her. She stopped in confusion. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm required to witness the procedure," he replied. "It's in the contract: paragraph 17, subsection C." Her head spun at this, but she didn't answer, because Sheldon brushed past her and opened the door to his room… his room and not Leonard's. The bed was neatly made and covered with a clean sheet - no, make that two sheets - on top and a couple of pillows.

"Remove all of your clothing from the waist down and cover yourself with the top sheet," he ordered and then left the room. The experience ended up being more like the fertility clinic than Penny liked. When she was decently concealed beneath the sheet, hips dutifully propped up on the pillows, she called him back in. She watched as he uncovered the plastic cup, filled the baster and handed it to her. She positioned the plastic tube and paused.

"Go on," he prompted after she didn't move for several seconds.

"I… I can't. I mean… oh, hell, Sheldon, I'm too scared to do it," Penny stammered. She expected him to lecture her, or argue, or favor her with a disapproving look. Instead, he gingerly reached out and placed his hand atop hers.

"We can do it together," he said quietly. "If you wish." She nodded. "Even the Q required some physical contact to initiate conception," he muttered. Before she could ask him what he meant, his hand contracted around hers, squeezing the bulb that she was still holding. Her eyes widened as she felt the rush of still-warm fluid. It was a surreal experience. Sheldon immediately withdrew his hand. There was an awkward silence in which neither of them said anything for several long moments.

Finally, Sheldon stood. "You should remain in this position with your pelvis elevated for at least fifteen minutes for optimal chances of conception," he said. His words were measured and logical, but he looked a little green as he spoke. He shifted his weight as if he was about to get up and leave.

Penny felt a bolt of alarm. She reached out and grabbed his wrist as he stood. "Stay...please stay here and talk to me," she begged. He looked at her for a long, measured moment before he sat back down on the bed.

"What should I talk about?" he asked nervously

"Anything - your job, comic books - just talk to me."

He nodded and began speaking about his latest ideas on how to prove string theory. She didn't understand it, nor did she care as long as he was with her. When the fifteen minutes had ended, Sheldon handed her a container of antibiotic wipes and left. She cleaned up and got dressed, bundling the sheets into his laundry basket. She found him standing in the living room, looking like he wasn't sure quite what to do with himself.

"That was officially the weirdest evening of my life," she said, with an attempt at humor.

"We should repeat this procedure daily for the next two or three days," he remarked.

"Right. Um… I guess I'll see you tomorrow night then." She closed the door, fighting the strange urge to try to comfort Sheldon. It made no sense. They were going forward with this surrogate pregnancy thing at his insistence, not hers, but there was something so vulnerable about the way he held himself.

He's going to have to grow up if he's going to be a father, Penny thought. Unable to wrap her head around the concept of Sheldon as a dad, she gave up, went home and crawled straight into bed.


	3. Chapter 3

The next three nights went almost exactly the same as the first, except that on the second day, Sheldon handed her a package of prenatal vitamins. She almost thanked him before remembering that he was doing it for his future child, not her. For the next few weeks, Penny tried to forget what she and Sheldon had done. She spent her days sleeping in late, going to work at the Cheesecake Factory and then going right to sleep when she got home. She didn't know if her tiredness was due to stress or… something else. Then one afternoon, she walked into her workplace to find the whole restaurant reeking of garlic, except no one else but her could smell it. She traced the smell back to a cutting board that was sitting in the dish rack, waiting to be washed. Her heart seemed to skip a beat as she stared at it, and then ran for the ladies' rooms, where she cried for fifteen minutes straight. Eventually, one of the hostesses came in after her, asking if she was okay.

_I think I'm pregnant,_ Penny thought. Out loud, she said, "I'm fine. Just some bad cramps."

At the end of the evening, she turned over her last few tables to another server and left early. She'd never asked Sheldon about it, but she was certain that he had a stock of pregnancy tests somewhere. She didn't even feel guilty about knocking on his door a half hour past his bedtime. Once she explained why she was there, he questioned her carefully about her symptoms until she snapped, "Just give me the damn stick to pee on." He obeyed, muttering something about mood swings under his breath.

Five minutes later, three separate tests from three different manufacturers (each hermetically sealed in a plastic bag) were showing positive. Pregnant. Penny stared at them and wondered if throwing up was an appropriate response.

"Success," Sheldon said in an awed whisper. Then he looked at her and frowned. "Penny, you do not look well. Please come and sit down, and I will make you some peppermint tea. Mint extract is supposed to have a soothing effect on an upset stomach."

Dazed, she allowed him to lead her to the sofa. He tucked a blanket carefully around her and then bustled about in the kitchen. He handed her a steaming mug of tea in a surprisingly short time. Holding another mug of tea, he sat down in the chair across from her and asked, "How are you feeling?"

This was enough to shock Penny out of her fugue state. "Hold on. You're not sitting in your spot; my feet are in your spot. You just asked me how I'm feeling, and did I hear you say please a few minutes ago?" Her voice had risen as if she were accusing him of something shameful instead of being nice to her.

"Penny, you are now the mother of my child. As such, you deserve a level of courtesy which is at least equivalent to and perhaps greater than the courtesy which I normally extend only to myself."

Penny stared at him, shook her head disbelievingly. "I don't know if I'm knocked up, or if I've just fallen down a rabbit hole."

"An allusion to the classic children's literary novel, Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll. Very good, Penny," he enthused.

She stared at him, wondering just how far this strange new courtesy would go. To test him, she said, "I think I need to lie down. Can I sleep in your bed?"

As it turned out, there were limits to how generous Sheldon was willing to be toward the mother of his progeny. While he refused her his bed, he did escort Penny to her own bed with her hand tucked firmly into the crook of his elbow. He then smoothed out her sheets and plumped her pillows, waited until she crawled under the covers, and then drew them up under her chin.

"Good night, Penny," he said quietly.

She tossed and turned for a long time before finally drifting off to sleep, wondering if she would wake up tomorrow to find she had dreamed or hallucinated the whole thing.

The next few days proved that it was no dream. Sheldon continued his strange behavior, which might have almost seemed normal for anyone else. He asked how she was feeling, made her herbal teas and pestered her to take her vitamins. He also did extensive research online before selecting an obstetrician. As Penny prepared to move into Leonard's old room, he even offered to pay to store some of her furniture. At this point, the only thing their friends knew was that Penny was moving into the spare room to save money. There were times when Penny was strongly tempted to announce that they were moving in together because Sheldon had knocked her up, but she didn't.

Two weeks later, the move was completed. Penny had signed a sublease for the apartment but absolutely refused to sign any roommate agreement. Nonplussed, but by then accustomed to deferring to her, Sheldon reluctantly put away the contract he had drawn up. Although he would never have admitted it, he was pleased to see that she was starting to regain some of her old self-confidence.

None of that confidence was evident the day Penny pulled her car into a parking space in front of a medical building. She glanced apprehensively at Sheldon. "I'm nervous. I'm not sure I can go through with this." she whispered.

He patted her hand. "There, there, Penny. You are relatively young and physically fit. The odds are good that your pregnancy is progressing normally."

She shook her head. "That's not what I meant." Instead of clarifying her statement, she slid her hand out from under his grasp and opened her car door. "Let's get this over with."

They must have looked like a couple as they entered the doctor's office. Sheldon even held the door for Penny like his mother had taught him. His southern manners were rusty from disuse, but he could never forget them. It was strange how knowing Penny was pregnant with his child had made all those irrelevant social courtesies seem appropriate. In fact, he was developing the strangest compulsion to touch Penny whenever he could. He presumed it was some possessive instinct. He held her hand or arm to help her out of a chair or her car, hugged her when she was upset, and he liked to stroke her hair when she was tired. He noticed how much she liked that too. Since she had always been the one person he allowed to touch him casually, it was easy for this to become the new norm in their friendship.

He sat down next to her to begin filling out the medical forms. As he did so, he mused that they were most likely the only two present to have conceived as a fulfillment of a contract. It didn't matter to him. In fact, as far as he was concerned, all relationships would run much more smoothly if they were governed by a contract. Of course, he'd also had a contract with Amy, and look how that had turned out. Perhaps Penny had a point about refusing to sign his roommate agreement. Even that casual reminder of his ex-girlfriend made his hands start to tremble. He put down the pen and his breathing sped up as the walls seemed to close around him. He felt a hand on his arm.

"You look terrible," Penny whispered. "Are you sure you want to be here for the exam?"

He jerked his head up and down. "I am quite certain. I just happened to think of... Amy." A muscle twitched under his eye as he said her name.

She reached out and laced her fingers through his. "What made you think of her?"

He glanced down at their joined hands but didn't comment or pull away. Ever since those few strange nights of conception, he hadn't minded holding her hand. It felt as if he was actually drawing strength and comfort from the gesture, although he recognized how unusual that was for him. Even when he had been dating Amy, Penny was still the one he felt most comfortable around. "I was pondering our unique circumstances in that you have contractually agreed to bear my progeny."

This earned him a sharp kick to his ankle. "Say it a little louder; I don't think the receptionist heard you," she hissed. He opened his eyes and looked at her in astonishment. The sudden rush of anger he felt when she kicked him had completely banished his panic. When he opened his mouth to respond, she quickly clapped a hand over his mouth.

"That was sarcasm, you idiot," she whispered and then released him with a sharp warning glance.

Just then, a nurse in scrubs opened a door and called Penny's name. She gave him a look he wished he could decipher. "I guess that's us," she said. He squeezed her hand gently, and she clung to him tightly. He continued to hold hands with her until they reached the exam room.

He hovered close by, feeling useless and unwanted, as the nurse weighed Penny and monitored her heart rate and blood pressure. Then he waited impatiently outside the exam room while Penny changed into the paper gown provided for her. Once she told him he could enter, he found her staring at the models that depicted various stages of pregnancy and childbirth.

"Too late to back out now," she said with a forced smile that even he could tell wasn't genuine. He told her to lie back on the exam table and stroked her hair. The fragile moment of calm was broken once the doctor entered the room. Penny grabbed Sheldon's hand, and her nails dug into his palm. He yelped, and she eased off reluctantly without seeming to relax.

In just a few moments, Sheldon was the one who was about to go ballistic. The doctor, who was a middle-aged man, had told Penny that he was going to perform a physical exam. Apparently, neither Sheldon or Penny were expecting him to pull open the front of her paper gown and start palpitating her breasts. Penny let out a startled gasp. Sheldon, who hated confrontation, found himself on his feet, yelling at the doctor and trying to get between him and Penny.

After the doctor left in a huff, Sheldon turned back to Penny, who was staring at him wide-eyed as she tried to hold the edges of her paper gown together. With a soft cry, she reached for him. When he drew near, she hugged him tightly. He could feel that she was shaking.

"I'm sorry. Ever since my grandma died, I don't like doctors or hospitals," she whispered. "I thought I was over it until that creep came in and started feeling me up, and I panicked."

"He had absolutely no right to treat you that way," Sheldon insisted. After she had calmed down, he handed her her shirt and told her to put it on. "They will make this right, or I will give this practice a one-star review on every website I can find," he growled. Penny laughed a little at that, but the expression on her face as she looked at him was completely trusting.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

"You would have no reason to be here if it weren't for me," he pointed out.

She chuckled weakly. "You know what I mean. I'm just glad you're here."

After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door and a petite, dark-haired woman entered. "Hello, I'm Dr. Salinas," she said. "I understand you had an issue with Dr. Oberholzer?"

"Was that his name? He didn't even bother introducing himself. He just came in and starting molesting my… my friend," Sheldon retorted.

Dr. Salinas shook her head. "He's very good with high risk pregnancies, but sometimes his bedside manner is a bit abrupt."

"Doesn't sound like anyone I know," Penny said, looking at Sheldon with a grin.

Sheldon looked at the doctor uneasily. "Are you saying that my child is at risk?"

"Your child? Forgive me, I thought you were just a friend," the doctor said.

"That's correct," he answered.

The doctor was starting to look confused.

"We're just friends, but I agreed to have his baby. I don't want to go into the reasons, but…" Penny trailed off, unwilling to explain about their contract.

"Of course, I understand. What a wonderful thing you're doing for your friend," Dr. Salinas replied, smiling. "And no, there's nothing that indicates there are any problems with your pregnancy. Now, how about we get started with your exam?"

Penny wasn't at all sure her doctor understood the situation since even she still found it strange. She was also under the impression that the doctor thought Sheldon was gay, but she wasn't about to try to explain further. Instead, she listened as Dr. Salinas carefully explained every part of the physical before proceeding. Sheldon also paid close attention, although he stepped behind the curtain as Dr. Salinas showed Penny how to perform a mammary self-exam. Once that part was over, they invited Sheldon back.

"Let's take a listen to your baby's heartbeat," the obstetrician said cheerfully. She pulled out a handheld device with a short wand attached to it. Placing the wand against Penny's lower abdomen, she moved it around until a rushing, pulsating sound came through clearly.

"What's that?" Penny asked. "Is that our baby?"

"Yes, it's your baby's heart beating," the doctor answered.

"Why does it sound so fast? Is the baby okay?" she wondered.

Dr. Salinas smiled. "Yes, that's exactly how the heartbeat is supposed to sound at this point. At eight weeks gestation, your baby's heart beats much faster than an adult's."

"The average is between one hundred fifty and one hundred seventy beats per minute," Sheldon said.

"That's right," the doctor answered, sounding surprised. "Wow, someone's really been doing his homework."

Sheldon chimed in with a few more "fun facts" about fetal development. The doctor was impressed with his knowledge, but Penny said dismissively that it didn't count since he had an eidetic memory. That earned her a nod and a "Very good, Penny," comment from Sheldon for remembering the correct terminology. She shook her head with a grin, still not used to his deference to her. The two of them left the obstetrician's office feeling much more relaxed.

"I really like Dr. Salinas. I wanted to thank you for sticking up for me with that jerk doctor," Penny said, laying a hand on Sheldon's arm.

"Of course. I couldn't have him upsetting you. I was displeased myself with his boorish manhandling of your person." He patted her hand, and then tucked it into the crook of his elbow as he escorted her to her car.

His behavior, old-fashioned yet gallant, made Penny feel warm inside. When he just bothered to treat people like… well, like people instead of inanimate objects, he really was a sweetheart.


	4. Chapter 4

By this time, Penny had gotten used to waking up to a mug of still-warm ginger tea and crackers on her nightstand. Sheldon's behavior was obsessive but also oddly considerate. He had begun to cook meals for both of them, insisting that fast food and takeout wasn't good for the baby. Feeling a little guilty, Penny began to help out in the kitchen. Sheldon responded enthusiastically to her meager efforts. They watched cooking shows together and tried to duplicate some of the simpler recipes. After several weeks, Penny could actually make a few dishes without burning anything. It helped that Sheldon was the one to prepare all the meat. She couldn't even look at raw meat without feeling queasy.

The two of them had meant to keep Penny's pregnancy a secret until the end of the first trimester, but Sheldon's behavior nixed that idea. The first time the guys came over to play Halo, they quickly noticed how he hovered over Penny. He was behaving so peculiarly that his friends knew something was up and pestered him mercilessly until he finally admitted the truth. They didn't believe him at first: who would? When they finally realized that it wasn't one of his bazingas, however, they were thunderstruck. Leonard in particular spluttered and ranted, unable to wrap his head around the idea of Penny pregnant with Sheldon's child.

Penny crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at him. "We're not dating anymore. You don't get a say about what I do with my life."

"I never did, even when we were together," Leonard retorted angrily. He threw the controller down and stormed out, almost knocking over Bernadette as she came up the stairs.

"Sorry I'm late," Bernie said as she gave Howard a kiss. "What's up with Leonard?"

Four people began talking at once. Bernie didn't catch all the details, but she got the gist. "You're pregnant?" she cried to Penny. Her eyes were wide as saucers as she eyed her friend with a mixture of shock and horror.

"And Sheldon's the father," Raj added gleefully.

Bernie's jaw dropped as she looked from Penny to Sheldon.

"I didn't sleep with him," Penny put in quickly, managing to sound both offended and a little guilty.

"Yeah, she's having his test tube baby," Howard chimed in, waggling his eyebrows.

"Stop talking about Sheldon like that," Penny cried. "I may be pregnant, but that doesn't mean I can't still bend you into a pretzel," she said, scowling at him fiercely.

Howard relented, but all of Sheldon's plans for an evening of video games were ruined. The only thing that Raj, Howard and Bernie wanted to talk about was the pregnancy that had completely taken them all off-guard. Somehow, Bernadette was the worst offender. She kept asking Penny things like, "How are you going to make it through the next nine months sober?" and "Do you think you're going to get stretch marks?"

Throughout it all, Penny was careful never to mention the contract. She merely said that Sheldon had decided he wanted to have a child of his own. With Amy out of the picture, she claimed she had agreed to help him as a friend. Sheldon said little except when asked a direct question. He seemed relieved to let Penny corral their friends' rampant curiosity.

Penny was relieved when everyone finally ran out of rude questions and unsolicited advice. Howard and Bernadette made their excuses and left soon afterward. Penny suspected the entire staff of Caltech would know the news by tomorrow, and Amy as well. Knowing it was pointless, she hadn't even tried to get Bernie to promise not to tell Sheldon's ex. Raj lingered after the other two had gone. He was the only one who appeared genuinely excited over their news, although it was mostly because he wanted his dog Cinnamon to have a playmate.

Finally, Penny shut the door on Raj's beaming face and leaned against it wearily. Sheldon was already at her side, and he guided her to the sofa. Without being asked, he made her a mug of chamomile tea and brought it over.

"This is just the beginning, you know," Penny commented as she gratefully sipped her tea. "I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't tell them about the contract," she added with a grimace. "Once money's involved, it just makes the whole thing seem so cheap and tasteless. They already talk down to me and treat you like you're a robot…" Her eyes filled with tears, and she quickly set down her mug and buried her face in her hands.

Sheldon jumped up from his seat and was back in a moment, offering her a box of tissues. She snagged one and dabbed at her eyes. "I'm sorry; I don't know what came over me. I haven't cried like this since-"

"Since the first day we met," Sheldon put in quietly. "To this day, I still don't know why you invested any part of your life on that bullying neanderthal, Kurt."

Penny leaned against him. Although Sheldon couldn't tell if she was tired or simply feeling overwhelmed, he allowed it and even put an arm around her so he could pat her shoulder soothingly.

"It was worth it. If it hadn't been for him, I never would've met you," she said softly.

* * *

The very next day, Sheldon had an unwelcome visitor at work. He was staring at his whiteboard when he heard a familiar, clomping tread and recognized it as Amy's. He actually looked around for some place to hide before realizing it was futile. He capped his marker and turned reluctantly as he heard his name barked out in disapproving tones.

"Hello, Amy," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "What are you doing here?"

"As if you didn't know," she scoffed. "Bernadette called me last night. Sheldon, how could you?"

"Drat," he muttered. He should have gotten all his friends to sign confidentiality agreements before Penny kicked them out. "Penny signed a contract to act as a reproductive surrogate for me. Your participation was not vital to the fulfillment of that contract."

"That's not the point! I thought you wanted to have a baby with me!" Amy cried. "We would have shared a deep, personal bond for the rest of our lives. We would have been a family, just the three of us."

Sheldon gaped at her. "I thought you agreed to raise offspring together as a purely intellectual endeavor."

"Oh, grow up, Sheldon," Amy snapped. "Don't be so naive. Besides, if you think that, then why would you want a child who gets half their DNA from a lazy, uneducated waitress?"

Sheldon's hands balled into fists, even though he couldn't dispute Amy's claims. "What Penny lacks in intellect, she makes up for in kindness and empathy, traits of which I must say you seem entirely devoid."

Amy scowled but didn't seem fazed by his assessment. "Do you have feelings for her?" she sneered.

"I wouldn't call her my friend if I didn't have some sort of feelings for her," he replied stiffly.

"I mean, are you in love with her?" she pressed.

"Of course not," was the immediate answer.

Amy had been watching his face carefully, but there was no twitch or tic to indicate he was lying. She glared at him. "This is a big mistake, Sheldon. Penny's not smart like the two of us. I can't believe you'd even consider having a child with her. There is absolutely nothing she can contribute except exceptional physical attractiveness, which I never thought was something you valued."

Sheldon's mind quickly flashed back to Penny's impassioned defense of him last night. He wasn't oblivious to the way most people treated him, as if he was an inconvenience rather than someone they would choose to spend time with. His deepest secret was that he wanted people to look up to him, to admire him. It was why he was so quick to flaunt his intelligence, but it made it difficult for him to make and maintain friendships. Penny had never benefitted from being friends with him, but she was one of his most loyal companions. That was why he had once chosen to keep her as a friend over Raj.

"You're wrong," he told Amy. "If anything, my child will be more likely to succeed by having Penny as a biological parent instead of you. She may not be intelligent, but her social expertise makes her better equipped to interact with people. A child who combines the best qualities of both Penny and I would have an advantage over one who would receive double measures of both intelligence and social awkwardness."

Amy shook her head. "You're being a stubborn, pigheaded fool. Just don't come crying to me when you realize what a mistake you've made." With that, she stormed out, clomping angrily back down the hallway.

Sheldon breathed a sigh of relief to see her leave. He studied his hands and found them steady. He took a deep calming breath and picked up his phone.

_How is your day progressing?_ he wrote in a quick text to Penny.  
 _  
Great! Just done part 2 of that acting class you found for me online. It's pretty cool. Thx!_ Penny texted back.

He almost smiled at the implied compliment when his phone buzzed again. _Are u ok?_

He hesitated, then wrote, _I am now. I'll tell you about it tonight at dinner._

_Pizza & comic book night,_ she wrote back with a smiley emoticon.

He didn't know why it pleased him so that Penny knew his schedule and adhered to it. All he knew was that the warm glow in his chest enabled him to get back to work without sparing a second thought for Amy's unwanted confrontation.

* * *

Shortly after dinner that night, Penny looked over at Sheldon. "I really need to do something… something that scares me half to death. Will you just hang out here while I make a phone call?"

"Of course. Who do you need to call?" he answered.

She grimaced. "My parents. I can't put off telling them I'm pregnant any longer. One of our friends is bound to mention it on Facebook soon. If I don't explain, my dad's gonna come after you with a shotgun."

Sheldon paled and gestured for her to make the call. In a few moments, this was what he heard.

"Hey, Mom… Yeah, I'm fine. There's just something I want to tell you and Dad… Can you, uh, get him and put it on speakerphone?... Hey, Dad… What do you mean, pregnant or getting married?" She covered the mouthpiece and cursed succinctly. "Well, I'm not getting married." Then she winced and held the phone out away from her ear. Sheldon could hear angry yelling, although he couldn't make out any words. When there was silence, Penny said, "It's not what you think. I'm helping a friend who wants to have a baby… No, it's a guy… No, I haven't lost my mind, and it's not Leonard's." By this point, her voice had risen in volume until she was almost yelling. "What the hell, Mom? I'm not going to tell Leonard it's his. He already knows it's not… Because it's his best friend… No, Dad, he's not a weirdo. His name is Sheldon, and he's a great guy… What? No, I'm not in love with him… and I'm not sleeping with him either! He's just a friend… You know what, Mom? It's my life and I'll screw it up any way I want!" The phone call ended abruptly as Penny chucked her phone across the room. It ricocheted off the poster near the door. Sheldon edged around the sofa and carefully picked up her phone. The screen wasn't cracked, and after a moment, he determined that it would still power on. Slowly, he crept up to Penny, who had sank down onto the sofa with her head in her hands, and held out the phone.

She lifted her face, which was streaked with tears. "Damn, it still works? I've lost my touch." Sheldon extended a hand cautiously and patted her shoulder. "There, there, Sheldon's here."

She reached up and gripped his hand in hers. "Did you tell your mom yet?"

His eyes widened, and he shook his head vigorously.

"Sweetie, you're going to have to tell her eventually. The sooner you tell her, the more time she'll have to get used to the idea."

He stared at her. "I've made a terrible mistake," he whispered.

Her face darkened. "It's too late to back out now. You have to man up, Sheldon, because this is your baby," she said, pointing to her stomach.

His face was almost as white as milk, but he nodded. "This was supposed to be a simple transaction regarding a common biological condition."

Suddenly, Penny grabbed his head in both of her hands and leaned in until her face was just inches from his own. "You are going to be a father. You will be responsible for this kid for the next eighteen years of its life, and you will never stop being his dad. There's nothing simple about it, and it's not a condition. Do you understand?"

"Yes," he breathed, nodding as much as he could.

"Good." She reached toward his hip, and before he could register what she was doing, she fished his phone out of his pocket and thrust it toward him. "Now, are you going to call your mom, or should I?" She was smiling, but somehow, that expression struck fear into Sheldon's heart even more than the furious look she had given him earlier.

Before he knew it, he was hearing his mother's voice on the other end of the line. "Hello, mommy. I have something to tell you, and I think you ought to be sitting down to hear it."

His experience was less confrontational than Penny's but no less uncomfortable. His mother actually cried, and not tears of happiness. (He knew because she told him so.) However, the deed was already done, so her objections meant little. Even the prospect of another grandchild - his brother George Jr. already had two kids with his girlfriend - did little to mollify her, but she did promise to come visit after the baby was born.


	5. Chapter 5

As Penny entered her second trimester, she kept working at the Cheesecake Factory. Sheldon found he definitely had mixed feelings about that. Despite what the pregnancy guides claimed about regular exercise being healthy for an expectant mother, he worried. He was constantly pestering her to be sure not to carry any heavy trays and to elevate her feet during her breaks. She didn't have the heart to tell him that in waitressing, taking breaks was a quick way to piss off her manager, despite what the labor laws actually said.

The first time she came home to their shared apartment after a long shift, complaining of sore feet, he gave her a foot massage. He wiped her feet down thoroughly with antiseptic wipes beforehand, but Penny had no complaints. No one had ever given her a foot massage before, and it was so heavenly it almost made up for the morning sickness. Nor did he stop at a foot rub. A few nights later when she said her back was hurting, he immediately stripped off the covers on her bed and told her to undress and lie down. She thought he was crazy, but she wasn't about to argue. She was already fantasizing about what his broad hands could do to her aching muscles. He fidgeted for several minutes, trying to find the best position from which to tend to her. He finally settled on sitting next to her on the bed. She moaned out loud, not caring what he thought, as his hands worked at her tight muscles. Soon, she was feeling relaxed, and the sensation of his hands gliding over her bare back began to feel more sensual. In her imagination, his hands slid lower, cupping her ass, sliding between her thighs. She felt embarrassed to be having these thoughts about Sheldon, but not enough to stop her from thinking them. She didn't know if her fantasies were triggered by a few months of abstinence or if she was actually attracted to Sheldon once he had started treating her like a human being. Remembering the night she had kissed him just confused her, since neither of those things had been true at the time.

* * *

The back massages for Penny became a part of their routine, three times a week, although Sheldon imagined she wouldn't refuse if he offered her one some other time. The problem for him was that lines were getting blurred. With Leonard, the boundaries had always been clear. There was no touching, apart from a contractually-agreed-upon hearty handshake if one of them won the Nobel Prize. He had rarely cared about Leonard's emotional state, except to the extent that it infringed on his personal life. But Penny had turned all his carefully crafted rules upside down. Being pregnant with his child, he not only concerned himself with her physical and emotional state, he obsessed over it. He wanted her to be content, even happy, because he believed it was best for the child. Many of his quirks and rules had given way to the greater demands of his progeny.

He had even learned to apologize, having realized it was the only way to soothe Penny's temper at times. Like a few weeks ago when he asked for a reference sample of her vaginal mucosa... who knew such a simple request could cause her to become incensed so quickly? Then there was the time he had attempted to measure the circumference of her breasts. She had almost punched him in the nose for that.

The changes to her body fascinated him. She was just beginning to show, with a small rounded bump peeking out over her drawstring capris. He wanted to touch her, to caress her gently swelling curves. She was like a madonna, an icon of womanhood; she glowed. To him, she had never looked more feminine or more beautiful.

* * *

Penny rubbed the hard swell of her stomach disconsolately.

"What about this one?" Bernadette asked, holding up a baggy floral top.

"Ugh," Penny grimaced. "It looks like something a fifties housewife would wear."

Bernie put it back on the rack and glanced around the maternity store. "Your situation does have sort of a fifties vibe to it, don't you think?"

"What do you mean?" she asked warily.

Bernie wrinkled her nose. "You let Sheldon impregnate you for reasons I still can't figure out. You moved in with him, and he's already asked you to quit your job and stay home with the baby once it's born. Sounds like you're giving up your whole future for him."

"It's not like that," Penny protested. "Unlike you, I don't have any career to speak of. And Sheldon's actually been really supportive and considerate. When I come home from a long shift, he even massages my feet or my back."

"Uh-huh," Bernie said and the inflection in her voice was heavy with sarcasm.

"What does that mean?" Penny asked, immediately feeling defensive.

"It means that I can't help but notice how you dragged your feet the whole time you were dating Leonard. You wouldn't even say you loved him. With Sheldon, in just a few short months, you're living with him and having his baby. Either he's brainwashed you, or…" She gasped. "Are you in love with him?"

"What? Why would you say that?" Penny cried, but she could feel her face heat.

Bernie smirked at her. "If your answer was no, you would've just come right out and said so."

Penny's blush deepened. "It's just so complicated," she moaned. "Ever since he started being nice to me and bringing me tea and stuff, I… I have these feelings for him. Am I crazy?"

"I don't think you're crazy, but I do think the pregnancy hormones are messing with your head."

Penny froze, her arm half raised with another blouse in hand. What if Bernie was right? Up until a few months ago, Penny had only ever thought of Sheldon as a friend. Sure, she'd wondered what he would be like in bed, but at the time, what she'd imagined had only made her laugh. She'd imagined spastic movements and stilted pillow talk filled with clinical terms for anatomy. Now, she thought of his warm hands caressing her bare back and the rumble of his voice as she leaned against his chest.

Quickly, she put the shirt back on the rack. _You do not have the hots for Sheldon,_ she told herself sternly. _It's just been too long since you've gotten laid._ Being noticeable pregnant, that probably wasn't going to change anytime soon, but somewhere she had a whole boxful of battery-powered devices. Apparently, she really needed to make use of them.

A few days later, Sheldon came home from work to find Penny strangely tense and agitated. When he asked her how she was feeling, she growled at him to shut up. Then she started accusing him of taking her things.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I have no interest in your personal belongings," he stated.

"You dumped all my wine down the drain," she pointed out crossly.

"Of course I did, with your full permission. We both agreed you shouldn't drink alcohol while you're pregnant."

"So did you get rid of something else that maybe you thought wasn't good for me?" she scowled.

"Not that I recall. Just tell me what you are missing, and perhaps I can help you find it."

She groaned and rubbed a hand across her face. "It was a small box that I kept under my bed. You found it once when you were cleaning and thought they were chew toys."

His face cleared. "Ah, yes, now I know what you mean. Since you don't currently own a dog, I packed them away. They're still in their original container, which is inside a larger box in your storage unit."

Penny growled in frustration. "That's not gonna help me much now."

He frowned. "I would highly discourage you from getting a pet in your current physical state. The last thing you need is another distraction, not to mention that pets require an additional security deposit and an alteration to your sub-lease."

"I don't want a dog, you idiot!" Penny yelled. Throwing up her hands, she snapped, "Just leave me alone."

So he did exactly as she asked. He ordered Indian food, something he had gotten back in the habit of doing even since Leonard moved out. He settled down in his favorite spot on the couch to watch an episode of original series Star Trek. Penny came out halfway through the show. Grabbing the afghan off the back of the couch, she wrapped herself up in it and curled against Sheldon's side. He glanced at her apprehensively, but refrained from pointing out that she was touching him.

After a few minutes, she spoke. "Can you hold me please?"

With a sigh, he paused his show. "If you are asking if I can lift you, then no, I am not strong enough to do so, nor do I wish to."

She gave him a look that he was learning meant that she was annoyed with him. "I just want you to put your arm around me. Is that so hard?"

"It's not physically challenging," he said stubbornly.

She folded her arms under her breasts, pulling the fabric of her shirt tight across the small rounded bump of her abdomen. Whether it was intentional or not, the motion emphasized the fact that she was carrying his child. "You give me back massages and rub my feet. How is that any different?" she argued.

His lips flattened into a thin line, but he put his arm around her. He could never understand how someone with her merely average IQ could talk him into anything. She snuggled against his side as he resumed his show. His pulse sped up, and his palms began to feel damp. This had happened often enough in Penny's proximity that he had ruled out viruses, genetic abnormalities, or any other type of disease as the source of these symptoms. As the venerable Sir Arthur Conan Doyle said, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. As much as he wanted to deny it, the fact was that he was attracted to Penny. He supposed it had begun as a byproduct of his deferential treatment of her as the mother of his child. Combined with their bond of friendship, he had started to want her and had even fantasized about her. Maybe his fantasies were mild compared to some - he imagined her greeting him with a kiss when he came home from work, or holding her in his arms at night - but for him, they were the most erotic thoughts he'd ever had. He'd never told Penny that the magazines she'd gotten him for the nights they were trying to conceive had gone straight into the trash. Dirty magazines and worse (like Howard's favorite websites) had never interested him. But now Penny had changed his perspective. His natural inclination was to run away from these feelings which frightened him and left him off balance, but he couldn't do that. She needed him. So he held her close, breathing in the green apple scent of her hair and futilely trying to remind himself that he was _Homo novus_ , an entirely different species. It wasn't helping.

Penny sighed as Sheldon wrapped a long arm around her shoulders. She nestled closer to his side. It was like heaven. She felt loved and protected. It even helped a little in taking the edge off of her extreme horniness. When she had read in that pregnancy book that "enhanced sexual arousal" could be a side effect of second trimester hormones, she thought it was a joke. But just like the idea of Sheldon knocking her up, it turned out to be an all too real and very inconvenient problem.

She was still a little pissed off at him for packing up her vibrators, but she wasn't really interested in the detached sort of release she could get from them anyway. It was a bad cliche, but she had started to develop a crush on Sheldon. Yup, apparently, all a guy had to do was come across as nice and caring to a pregnant woman, and she'd start to have vivid fantasies about him. She'd read that for many women, this was often their obstetrician if their doctor was a man. For her, it was the skinny, obsessive-compulsive brainiac who had left ginger tea for her every morning and held open doors for her like it was the fifties. After seeing how his relationship with Amy had ramped up to hand-holding after much coercion and over a year of platonic, regularly scheduled (and often virtual) dates, she knew it was hopeless. Sheldon didn't do romance, and she was clearly not his type. That didn't stop her from lusting after him though. She sighed noisily. Maybe in her brain, it made sense to fixate on the one guy she couldn't have. Unfortunately, it wasn't like she had a lot of options. She couldn't go out to a bar to try to meet someone else, because then she'd be tempted to drink. Not to mention that to most guys looking for a casual hookup, a pregnant woman was a giant, neon, flashing red flag. Something about having a bun in the oven apparently screamed commitment and wedding bells.

She sighed again. Sheldon picked up the remote and paused his program. "Is something wrong? I know I am terrible at reading social cues, but I have noticed that loud exhalations like the ones you are producing usually imply some sort of mental distress."

Well, whaddya know, she thought in surprise. Sheldon had actually guessed right. "Sorry, sweetie. I guess I'm just feeling a bit lonely," she answered.

He hesitated. "Is my company not sufficient for you? I've noticed that you have been going out with Bernadette less frequently."

Penny straightened up and looked at him oddly. "I used to go clubbing with Bernie, but I can't drink right now, and she's still kinda freaked out by the fact that I'm preggo. But that's not really the issue. I miss… I miss having a boyfriend."

"What function would a boyfriend serve that I do not?" he asked innocently.

Penny gave him an exasperated look. "You're kidding, right?"

"Ah. You're referring to coitus, I believe?" he asked, looking proud that he had figured it out.

She rolled her eyes. "It's been a long time since I've gone through a dry spell like this. I'm just feeling frustrated."

He frowned. "Starting with the assumption that I don't want to have coitus with you, is there anything I can do to alleviate your frustrations? A rousing campaign in Age of Conan, perhaps?"

Penny shook her head. "No, I..." She broke off, and her eyes widened. She put a hand on the swell of her abdomen.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital?" Sheldon spat out the questions rapid-fire, and his whole body was tense as he leaned over her protectively.

"No, I'm fine. It's just the baby. I think I felt him move." She was smiling, her expression a mixture of wonder and pride. "Here, see if you can feel," she instructed, grabbing his hand and placing it on her abdomen.

Penny's whole world had suddenly skewed hard left. Up until now, she had only been focused on the idea that she was pregnant, with all the accompanying weird and uncomfortable physical changes. Suddenly, she realized she was going to be a mother. There was a tiny, helpless being growing inside of her that would one day look at her with love, come to her for comfort and call her "mommy". The idea filled her with awe; it was a miracle. Right next to her, curled possessively around her and touching her so gently, was the man who completed that picture: the father of her child.

"Can you feel anything?" she asked breathlessly.

His head jerked side to side, although he didn't look away from where their hands overlapped on the gentle swell of her stomach.

"Sweetie, look at me," she whispered.

Their eyes met, both filled with wonder. The world was new, and they were the first people to set foot on it. The bond between them was as vast and inexorable as any ocean. Just a small shift, and their lips met. Their bodies nestled together, his lean length somehow fitting perfectly against her soft curves. A little whimper of happiness escaped her. When he pulled away, she almost cried out at the loss. His somber, dark eyes stared down at her with an unfathomable expression, yanking her abruptly back to the reality of their situation.

She counted to ten in her head, and when he still said nothing, she asked, "I just kissed you. Why aren't you freaking out?"

For once, he seemed at a loss for words. He reached out and touched her hair, her cheek, and finally brushed a fingertip across her lips. She closed her eyes as he did so. She was trying to restrain the "big ol' five" part of her nature. Just because Sheldon was caressing her face didn't mean he wanted anything more. For all she knew, Amy had scared him off of relationships for life. She leaned her cheek into his hand, sighing happily as he held her in his arms. Their knees were touching as they faced each other on the leather sofa, and just that simple contact made Penny's pulse race. Sheldon's fingers curled around the back of her neck, urging her closer. It didn't take any more than that subtle hint for her to kiss him once again. Her arms went around his neck, and she whimpered with delight as he skimmed one hand down her side to rest on her hip. He didn't let go of her as he pulled back a few inches to gauge her reaction.

"Holy crap on a cracker," she whispered. Was it her imagination, or did he actually smile a little when she said that? She desperately wanted to know what was going through his head at that moment.

"I would like to propose a new dimension to our established paradigm," he told her.

Her eyes looked huge as she faced him, pupils dilated with desire. "What does that mean?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

For an answer, she kissed him again, soft and sweetly yielding. He held her close, stroking her hair. For once, Penny didn't experience that fierce jolt of attraction that she used as her basis for whether she liked a guy. This was a more complex and subtle emotion. She already cared deeply for Sheldon, and now she had to admit to herself that she wouldn't have had a baby for any other man in the world, not even Leonard.


	6. Chapter 6

Sheldon's heart was pounding hard in his chest as he looked into Penny's eyes. He had just kissed her - _three_ times - and asked her to be his girlfriend within the same fifteen minute time span, but for once, he wasn't fearful of this strange new intimacy. He knew it was because he was with Penny. He had always trusted her. Even when he had been dating Amy, he still felt more comfortable around Penny. He had even asked her to be his girlfriend without any kind of premeditation. He hadn't had time to plan, to write algorithms, or to draw up a contract. Yet somehow, in this moment, none of that mattered. He didn't have much use for emotions, but the moment his lips touched hers for the second time, it felt completely right. He pressed forward, hardly knowing what he was doing. Her arms went around his neck, and his hands found their way to her waist. Finally, he pulled away, noting with a strange elation Penny's flushed face and slightly glazed expression. He was inordinately pleased at her reaction. Her use of the colorful phrase reminded him of when they had first met, when she had seemed happier and more confident. He wanted to see her return to that state. It was why he had encouraged her to take up acting classes online and learned to compliment her on her little successes in picking up after herself. If kissing her was also part of this reclamation, then he decided he would do so as often as she wanted.

They spent the rest of the evening watching television on the couch, interspersed with frequent meaningful glances and smiles. Penny was curled up against his side, and her fingers were interlaced with his. A warm glow settled in his chest as he looked down at her. He had never experienced anything like this that made him feel both so masculine and completely content. He hadn't experienced much of either of those qualities in the past. Yes, he decided cautiously, he felt happy, actually happy. Incredibly, Penny was his, and she was carrying his child… their child. At that moment, everything seemed perfect.

The next day, Sheldon drifted through his day in a bemused daze. He was unusually quiet as Raj drove him to work, and then he thanked him for the ride. He didn't notice that Raj, instead of following him, was standing on the curb, staring after him with a shell-shocked expression on his face. Sheldon's work progressed as usual, which meant he spent his whole day working on the complex mathematics of a theoretical hypothesis, trying to prove string theory without much success.

At lunchtime, he moved through the cafeteria line, making his selections without much conscious thought. He didn't even bother to question any of the cafeteria workers about how the food had been prepared. As he sat down at the usual table with Leonard, Raj and Howard, he found he couldn't concentrate on their conversation. So he just kept his head down and focused on his food.

"Okay, what the hell is wrong with him?" Leonard muttered. "I just said I agree with Smolin's theories on weak force chirality, and he didn't even bat an eyelash. He hates loop theory."

"Yeah, and he didn't even notice when I stole one of his napkins," Raj chimed in. He nudged Sheldon's tray, finally causing him to look up and notice his three friend's attention on him.

"All right, spill it. You're acting even weirder than usual. What's going on?" Leonard demanded.

Sheldon took a deep breath. He wished he didn't have to talk about last night. What happened between him and Penny wasn't on par with some scientific hypothesis, to be critiqued and bandied about by his friends. He glanced around the table, only to see three pairs of eyes fixed on him with avid curiosity. There was no avoiding the topic. "Penny and I have come to an understanding," he said reluctantly.

"What kind of an understanding?" Leonard asked, instantly suspicious, even though he had been happily cohabiting with Alex for several months.

"I asked her to be my girlfriend," he admitted.

Raj gasped in shock while Howard looked skeptical, and Leonard's face clouded over.

"How much did that set you back?" Howard muttered sarcastically under his breath. As Sheldon was still incapable of keeping a secret, they had know for some time that he'd paid Penny a sizable surrogate fee, which she'd spent and been unable to repay. What none of them could comprehend was why she'd agreed to have a baby for him, regardless of how much money she owed him.

Of course, Sheldon overheard his remark. "I will not tolerate any more implications that Penny is a woman of dubious reputation," he said sternly. "She agreed to become a surrogate for me out of friendship, which has now evolved into something more. I think you are all aware that no one could force or coerce her into anything she didn't wish. The only reason she chose to carry my child was her kindness and empathy for me as a friend."

Leonard was shaking his head. "This is a bad idea. You know this is never going to work. Penny's nothing like you. In fact, she thinks the only way to show a guy that she likes him is to sleep with him, while you--"

"Will have to negotiate that part of my relationship with Penny, not the Nosy Nellies who are sitting at this table gossiping like a bunch of old ladies," Sheldon interrupted.

Leonard's jaw closed with an audible snap, while Raj and Howard just stared.

Finally, Howard stammered, "Did I… did I just hear Shelbot say he might sleep with Penny?"

"You can't do that! What about the Bro Code?" Raj cried. "Penny was Leonard's girlfriend first."

"Yeah, that's right," Leonard said. He crossed his arms and scowled at his former roommate.

"She is both pregnant with my child and sharing a domicile with me. I believe that supersedes any inflated claims of a fictitious code which you only trot out when it suits your own purposes," Sheldon said. He spoke calmly, but there was a glint of anger in his eyes which cowed the three other occupants of the table into silence. He looked down at his tray, picked it up and stood. "Excuse me. I find I no longer have an appetite," he said and left the cafeteria.

He made his way back to his office, but he was only there for a few minutes before Leonard appeared in the doorway. He crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at Sheldon. "Let's say this has nothing to do with me," he began, adding under his breath, "although nobody except you believes that for a second. Let's say this is just about you and Penny. Look, I cheated on her a while ago, and I know I hurt her. Maybe that's why she even considered this idiotic idea of yours for a minute. Now she's pregnant, she's emotional, and she's vulnerable. She even moved in with you, which was just another bad idea on top of the first one of her having your baby." He ran a hand through his hair. "She was in a bad place, and you took advantage of her. Unless you can tell me you're madly in love with her and you want to marry her, you shouldn't even be thinking about getting involved with her. And even if you could say that and mean it, what makes you think her interest isn't just pregnancy hormones messing with her head? Let's face it; the two of you are like oil and water. Whatever she thinks she feels now isn't going to last. And you - you never even asked me how I feel about you knocking up my ex-girlfriend. I almost wish you would fall for her so I could see her break your heart once she's over this… phase. But you've already used her enough. She doesn't deserve that."

Sheldon was silent for several seconds after Leonard had finished his diatribe. Finally, he said, "Penny has already made her preference clear, and as you said, it is much more likely that she will terminate our relationship than that I will. I can't yet say that I'm in love with her, but I can say that I care deeply for her. You may yet get your wish to see her break my heart, but dating is our decision, not yours. Just as with the pregnancy, I am prepared to live with the consequences of my decision."

Leonard shook his head, scowling. "You have no idea what you're talking about… but I hope you get your comeuppance soon." With that, he stalked off.

Perhaps it was a good thing Penny had already taken over driving Sheldon to work every day. After the bitter confrontation, he had no desire to even speak to his erstwhile best friend. But there was one unexpected consequence to their conversation. Leonard had told him he shouldn't even think about getting involved with Penny unless he was madly in love with her and wanted to marry her. Certainly, that must have been Leonard's experience. He had fallen hard and fast for Penny, while she remained uncommitted. Sheldon, on the other hand, couldn't begin to process his feelings for Penny, but he did like the idea of their getting married. He wondered if Penny would agree to marry him, at least briefly, to appease both of their parents. However, a quick reflection on her history with Leonard made him decide to defer that suggestion.

For two weeks, Sheldon's relationship with Penny had him floating in an idyllic haze of happiness. He was well aware that his friends were shocked and outraged, but he cared even less for their opinions than before. Amy tried to call him, but he just let her calls go to voicemail and then deleted them unheard. Penny said that both Bernie and Amy tried to talk her out of dating him. The three women had reached an uneasy truce where they had an unspoken agreement not to talk about Penny's personal life. She confessed to him sadly that it was surprising how little that decision affected their girl's nights. She wanted to tell her friends all about her pregnancy, but for their own reasons, neither of them wanted to hear about it. She felt they were growing further apart. This rift had revealed to her how shallow her friendships with them really were.


	7. Chapter 7

Sheldon clutched the strap of his messenger bag tightly. He couldn't take his eyes off of Penny as she drove him to work. She noticed his intense scrutiny and laughed. "Staring at me isn't going to make the ultrasound happen any faster."

"I can't emphasize enough how crucial this particular appointment is," he responded.

She chuckled again. "Admit it: you just can't wait to find out if we're having a boy or a girl."

He was silent for a moment, then he said, "Today will be the very first time I see my child. The possible disclosure of its gender pales in comparison."

Penny pulled into a parking space near the physics building at Caltech. Almost before the car had come to a complete stop, she leaned over and kissed him hungrily. Sheldon felt the tips of his ears burn at the thought that one of his coworkers might be watching, but he couldn't resist her. He didn't even want to. With any other woman, he would consider this an unconscionable liberty. But since it made Penny purr like a happy kitten, he had quickly acquiesced.

She leaned her forehead against his; her hand rested against his cheek. "I love how excited you are about the baby."

For a moment, everything had seemed to freeze as she said those first two words, _I love_. He found that he had held his breath, and an intense surge of longing swept over him. His reaction came as a total shock. Love wasn't rational; it was an emotion - unpredictable, unquantifiable. For Penny to say she loved him would only further muddy the waters of their far-too-complicated relationship.

"Sweetie, are you all right?" she asked. He shook off his introspection and managed to reassure her.

"Okay. I'll pick you up at one," she said, leaning over to kiss him once more before he got out of the car.

He nodded, wide-eyed, and gave her a shaky smile. "Perhaps we should leave a larger buffer of time in case of traffic or other unforeseeable events."

She smiled tenderly at him. "You just can't wait to see our baby."

"I do find myself experiencing an unusual state of heightened anticipation," he replied cautiously, even though she couldn't possibly know the thoughts that had just been running through his mind.

"Whackadoodle," she said fondly. "You couldn't just say yes? Never mind. I'll see you in a few hours."

In his excitement, Sheldon didn't bother to correct her, even though in his mind, five hours were definitely more than a few.

Raj strolled into their shared office just a few minutes after Sheldon. He paused, tilting his head to the side as he noticed his friend's whiteboard. Sheldon was rapidly filling the freshly-cleaned space with scrawled equations. "Those are probability models," he remarked. "How does that relate to string theory?"

Sheldon started, and when he turned to face Raj, his expression was almost guilty. "It doesn't. I'm trying to create a better predictive algorithm for gender selection in fetal development."

Raj gasped. "Today's the big day, isn't it? Oh, that's so exciting! I wish I could go with you... can I go with you?"

Sheldon scowled at him. "While you may be physically capable of it, I'm not giving you permission to accompany us. It's 'may I', not 'can I'," he added as Raj looked puzzled.

His expression cleared. "Do you want a boy or a girl? I think most men want a boy at first, you know? It's like the closest thing we have to cloning ourselves."

"Significant progress has been made in cloning technology--"

"Oh, don't even go there!" Raj cried impatiently. "Just answer the question, boy or girl?"

"A boy, of course," Sheldon answered, turning back to his whiteboard. "Although the gender of the child has been determined since conception." He frowned thoughtfully. "I should have centrifuged my ejaculate to increase the odds of Penny conceiving a boy. Why didn't I think of that?"

Raj gaped at him. "TMI, dude - too much information. Besides, I don't think you were being all that rational at the time."

Sheldon whirled around, an affronted look on his face. "What are you talking about? I'm always rational."

"Uh… I'm sure you're right. Never mind."

Normally, this response would have placated Sheldon, but today, he pressed Raj for an answer. "No, explain yourself."

Raj sighed and perched on the edge of his desk. "You wanted to combine your DNA with Amy's for a super-smart child. The two of you would've treated its upbringing like one long scientific experiment. And the result would probably have been someone more like Leonard in personality - extremely intelligent, but plagued by self-doubt and distracted by the constant need to gain the approval of others."

Sheldon's jaw dropped as he realized Raj was correct. Months ago, he had defended Penny to his irate ex-girlfriend and extolled the advantages that Penny's empathy would impart to their child. But his arguments had been more to rationalize his own decision than to protect the mother of his offspring. "You're saying that Penny was the better choice."

Raj crossed his arms. "Maybe not in terms of DNA, but I'm saying that somewhere in the back of your mind, you were terrified at the thought of Amy getting pregnant with your child. You narrowly escaped making the worst decision of your life. With Penny, it was the exact opposite. She makes you feel safe and happy. Asking her to have your baby after you broke up with Amy wasn't rational, and it wasn't rational for her to agree either. Face it, the two of you have had feelings for each other for a long time. That's the only explanation for what you did." He studied Sheldon's face, which had slowly drained of color. "Don't worry. I have no intentions of sharing my theories with anyone else - not even Howard."

A dozen responses crowded into Sheldon's mind. Most of them were impolite; one was even anatomically impossible. Foremost in his mind was the memory of Leonard, standing just a few feet from where Raj was now, expressing the hope that Penny would break his heart. Of all his friends, only Raj seemed to have his best intentions at heart. So he swallowed his pride. "Thank you, Rajesh," he said quietly.

Raj's eyes widened, and for a moment, he seemed at a loss for words. He turned away and muttered very quietly under his breath, "It's like watching a butterfly emerge from a chrysalis."

Sheldon heard him perfectly, of course, but he had no intention of asking what his friend meant. He was fairly certain it would have more to do with feelings, and his day had already been enough of an emotional roller coaster. So instead, he turned around, erased his whiteboard and tried to focus on his research.

By lunchtime, Sheldon was convinced he hadn't had a productive thought all morning and that whatever progress he had made with his string theory research was wildly off base. He said little in the cafeteria. The beefaroni casserole, normally his fourth favorite item on the menu, tasted like sawdust. He pushed it around on his plate distractedly.

"So you're actually going to see your baby today," Leonard said. "That's… wow. I just can't believe you're gonna be a dad. I mean, what are you gonna do with a baby?"

"What anyone does with a baby," Sheldon replied with a touch of asperity. "Feed it, change it, care for it. I hope that Penny will agree to stay home with our child, although now that we're dating, the situation has become more complicated." He frowned thoughtfully. "It's odd, but she's somehow reluctant to have me pay her now that we're involved."

Raj snickered, while Howard drawled, "Yeah, funny how women hate being compared to hookers."

Sheldon's eyes bulged. "Is that what she thinks?"

"No, of course not," Leonard soothed. "Well, maybe a little… you should talk to her."

Just then, the woman in question appeared in the doorway of the cafeteria. Sheldon jumped up, knocking over his chair. He attempted to pick it up, only to almost trip when he got his feet tangled around the chair legs. Leonard quickly came to the rescue, sliding it away from his friend. "I got this. You just go see your baby."

Without a backwards glance, Sheldon headed towards Penny as if drawn by a magnet. Watching him, Howard shook his head. "How does a guy manage to look that happy when he's not smiling?" he muttered.

"The woman he loves is having his baby," Raj answered dreamily. "What could be more romantic?"

"Double-jointed twins?" Howard countered with a sleazy grin.

Sheldon was oblivious to his friends' teasing remarks. In fact, he was hardly aware of any of his surroundings. His eyes were fixed on the beautiful woman in front of him. His emotions - and yes, there was no longer any denying that he had them - were careening about wildly in his head. She smiled, and he reached for her. All he did was to slid his hands down her arms until he held her hands in both of his. As far the Caltech rumor mill was concerned, he knew he might as well have started tearing her clothes off, but he didn't care what others might think. The rude thought from earlier popped into his head: they could go coitus themselves.

"You're early," he said in a low voice.

"Yup. I couldn't wait any longer. Hope you don't mind."

He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her and never stop because only she understood the elated nervousness that was bubbling up inside of him.

"I don't need anything from my office. Let's go now."

She laughed; it seemed like she was always doing that, and he recalled that he had once read that women were more likely to laugh in conversation with men to whom they were attracted. Tugging on his hand, she led him out of the cafeteria.

He couldn't sit still the entire drive to the clinic, bouncing his knee or tapping the dashboard until Penny gave him a dirty look that even he could interpret.

"You think _you_ can't wait for the ultrasound," she said dryily. "At least you didn't have to drink sixty-four ounces of water. My bladder feels like it's about to burst."

He froze and looked over at her. "This pregnancy has caused you significant discomfort."

"I guess," she said with a shrug. "Nobody ever said being pregnant was easy."

He was silent for several seconds before asking, "Why did you do it? The money I initially gave you hardly seems adequate compensation. Even though you spent it all on shoes, you know I never would've demanded the money back. You could easily have refused me."

"I know. I think I just... wanted you to be happy."

Sheldon reached out and briefly laid his hand atop hers. "Raj was right. If all I wanted was a genetically superior offspring, Amy would've been the best choice. But I was never completely comfortable around her, and once she was taking hormone injections, she became someone that was truly frightening. She clearly lacked the temperament or desire to be an adequate mother, and I was a fool to ever think otherwise. Subconsciously, I must have always known that you would make a far superior parent. The fact that you valued my own happiness above your own convenience proves it to me."

Her whole face lit up. "Oh, honey, I lo-- I mean, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

He nodded and stared out the window, lost in thought. For a moment, it sounded like she was about to say she loved him. He'd always believed there was no room in his life for love or romance, but now he found himself hoping he'd been wrong.


	8. Chapter 8

The technician was a woman a little older than Penny, with a riot of curly hair. She introduced herself as Maggie. "This is your first ultrasound? How exciting! Do we want to find out the gender today?" she asked the two of them.

Penny glanced over at Sheldon, whose face was set in tense lines. "Yup. We can't wait."

"Okay, well, I need to take some measurements first, so hang tight and then we'll see if we can get that baby to cooperate."

Penny gripped Sheldon's hand and waited in silence. The only sounds in the darkened room were the clacks of keyboard keys and beeps from the equipment.

"So here's your baby's face." Maggie tilted the monitor towards them.

Penny recoiled as the constantly shifting shapes revealed what appeared to be a bulging skull with dark holes for eyes and mouth. She glanced uncertainly at Sheldon.

"Oh, don't worry, they all look like this on the ultrasound. It's perfectly normal. I don't see anything out of the ordinary," the technician said as she moved the wand over Penny's gel-covered stomach. "Here's an arm."

Penny gasped to see that part suddenly come into view. Tiny fingers flexed and curled. "Oh my god, Sheldon, that's our baby," she squealed, gripped his arm.

"Fascinating," he responded, staring raptly at the screen.

After a few more minutes, Maggie said, "I've got all my measurements done, and I've got some great pictures for you too. Are you ready to find out if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Yes," they said together, and this time, it was Sheldon who clung to Penny's hand.

The technician moved the wand around again. "See those two white lines?" she said, pointing to the monitor. "Congratulations, you're having a girl!"

Penny immediately teared up as she squeezed Sheldon's hand. "A girl… we're having a daughter," she breathed.

"A girl," he repeated flatly, and she whipped her head around at the tone of his voice.

"Yeah, a girl. You said it didn't matter. You told me you didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, as long as it was healthy. Don't tell me you didn't mean it, because I would've known; you're a terrible liar."

He hesitated, thinking back to his conversation with Raj earlier that day. "I suppose when I thought about the future, I always pictured a son."

"Oh, yeah? And what kind of future is that, exactly? Where do I fit in? Do you think I'm just going to raise your baby and wait on you hand and foot?" she snapped.

Sheldon gaped at her. Before he could formulate a reply, she hopped off the exam table. Wiping the gel off her stomach, she glanced at the technician. "Are we done here?" she asked in a steely tone.

"I have everything I need. Why don't you take a few minutes, and when you're ready, I'll print out your pictures?"

Penny thanked her and walked out.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Maggie asked sympathetically, "So... do you wanna talk about it?"

After a brief hesitation, Sheldon replied, "Being in a relationship is very difficult for me. We weren't in a relationship when she found out she was pregnant. Since then, we've moved in together, and there have been so many changes, so fast. I'm a very logical person, and I thrive on routine. The idea of having a daughter means that I will be living with not one but two irrational, highly emotional persons. I'm not certain I can cope under those circumstances."

She nodded sympathetically. "Having a baby - boy or girl - is a huge change. It's tough for everyone. You know, at first, all babies start out the same. They cry, and you try to figure out what they need. Because they can't talk, a lot of times you're both tired and frustrated. But the more time you spend with them, the more you understand them and become the kind of parent they need. All kids are emotional sometimes, and irrational. This little girl's going to be lucky to have a father who's steady and dependable. She'll know she can always rely on you, and that's not something that every kid has. Trust me, you're going to be a great dad."

Much to his surprise, Sheldon felt his throat getting tight. "Thank you," he managed. When Penny walked back into the room moments later, he jumped up and held her close. "Please don't be upset with me. I have no intention of delegating all the work of parenting to you, nor do I expect you to wait on me hand and foot. If anything, I hope my actions of the past several months have convinced you of my willingness to help you in any way I can. I was taken aback when my expectations were not met, but I will do my best to be a good father. I need you. You already know instinctively what I will struggle to master. I can't do this without you."

Her face softened, and she took his hand. "I'm sorry I got mad at you. Sometimes these pregnancy hormones make me crazy."

He was reminded again of Amy and shuddered. "Not compared to some people."

She laughed and kissed his cheek. "Come on, I can't wait to see the pictures of our baby."

Sheldon got first dibs on the grainy black-and-white photos. He couldn't wait to show them to all of his colleagues - even people he couldn't stand, like Barry Kripke. When he did so and was asked how he felt about having a girl, he was able to answer truthfully that he hoped his daughter would be as kind and strong and loving as her mother.

* * *

Despite the fact that they were dating - or perhaps because of it - there was a new friction between the prospective parents. Penny, now well into her second trimester, wanted desperately to drag Sheldon into bed - his or hers, or the couch, or maybe any flat surface would do. While he was trying to adjust to his new roles as boyfriend and expectant father, he was overwhelmed by the idea of adding a third role - that of lover - to that list. Penny was by turns petulant and frustrated whenever he would gently disengage from her eager (one might even say clingy) embrace.

One day after work, Sheldon found a mysterious package in the mailbox, addressed to Penny. It was longer than his hand and wrapped in butcher paper. He looked at it curiously and even shook it. Whatever was inside made a muffled thump. It didn't weigh very much, either. He wondered what Penny had bought. She'd been doing a good job of curbing her online shopping lately. At the very least, he knew the box was too small to contain shoes. His curiosity gnawed at him, and he could hardly wait until she got home from work so he could ask her what was inside. Penny was waitressing that evening, so he tried hard to ignore the mysterious package and concentrate on completing his quest in Age of Conan. But the presence of the box was like a persistent murmur in the back of his mind. Finally, he heard the sound of the bolt being thrown, and he jumped up to greet his girlfriend. She didn't have time to do more than say hello before he pulled her close and kissed her. She sagged against him with a grateful sigh.

When he released her, he surveyed her weary figure in the familiar uniform anxiously. "Shower, hot tea, and a foot massage?" he asked.

She moaned appreciatively. "You're my knight in shining armor, seriously. That sounds perfect."

He fidgeted nervously as she headed back toward the bathroom. Unable to contain himself any longer, he called out, "You got a package in the mail today. Did you order something online?"

She followed the direction of his pointing finger and saw the box on the dining room table. Her expression shifted in some subtle way. "Oh, yeah, I guess I did. Thanks, honey."

"What is it?" he demanded when it was clear no more details were forthcoming.

"Uh… I think it's jewelry."

"The box is both too large and too heavy to contain jewelry, unless you bought quite a few items." Sheldon frowned. Under his careful guidance, she had been much more responsible with her money. He'd hate to see her backslide. Also, he didn't know what was the meaning of that peculiar expression on her face, but her answers were evasive. He didn't know what it meant, but he didn't like it.

"Look, I know what's in the box. I just don't want to tell you, okay?" she answered.

He frowned. "No, that is not okay. Either as your roommate, your boyfriend, or the father of the child you are carrying, I have a right to know what you are bringing into this apartment."

Her nostrils flared, a warning sign he had come to recognize. Sure enough, she exploded at him, "A right? You have a right? You don't own me! I could walk out that door this minute and take your baby with me, and there's nothing you could do about it."

A wave of icy fear washed over him, and he gripped the back of a nearby chair for support. The idea of her leaving was incomprehensible. His mind quickly retreated from that thought, returning to its familiar logic. "You can't leave! You signed a contract!"

"It's not a real contract, it's just some stupid piece of paper you made up because you are freaking insane!" she yelled.

"I'm not insane! My mother had me TESTED!" he roared, taking a few steps toward her.

Her eyes widened as he moved toward her, and both arms quickly wrapped around her stomach. "Sheldon, you're shouting at me," she said quietly.

That small voice and the protective movement were all it took to trigger flashbacks for Sheldon: his father's face, red with drink and contorted in rage. Cowering under his bed where his father couldn't reach him. Those horrible split-second moments of decision when he could either run away or step in front of a blow meant for Missy. No matter what choice he made, it never felt like the right one. His only refuge were his textbooks, where everything conformed to laws and formulas. In science, he could write down his problems, reduce them to mathematical concepts, measure them, and solve them. Science was the only predictable, logical constant in his life.

Now suddenly, those roles were reversed. He was the one who was out of control, screaming at the ones he ought to protect and care for. The sense of disorientation was so profound, it was like an out-of-body experience. Some part of his mind was watching with calm detachment, wondering when swinging a fist at either her or their child would seem to make sense. Or maybe the whole point was that there was no sense to it. Maybe he really was insane, his true legacy from his father. He could feel it, lurking in his genes, biding its time. He wasn't aware that he had begun shaking his head back and forth. No, it didn't have him yet. He could protect her, save her. Run away, Penny. She wouldn't do it. She wouldn't understand. She was a fighter, but he couldn't let her put herself or their unborn child in danger. Facts clicked into place in his mind. There was only one thing he could do to shield her from his past.

"This relationship is over," he heard himself saying. Penny gasped, but he forced himself to continue. "You may stay here until the baby is born, but after that, you will have thirty days to find alternate living arrangements."

She stared at him for a long moment, and then she whirled and ran to her room, slamming the door. It was a long time before Sheldon could even move from that spot, and then he crept to his room and curled up in a ball in the center of his bed. He felt numb and hollow, as if without her, there wasn't much left of him. But what else could he have done? He'd never in his entire life been less in control of his emotions than he had that evening, and it terrified him.

The next day at work, Sheldon couldn't concentrate on anything. He didn't even bother going to the cafeteria for lunch. He hadn't been able to eat anything that morning, either. The idea of food made him nauseated. It was ironic, considering that Penny had only recently gotten over the last vestiges of her morning sickness. Every time he recalled their argument, he thought his internal conflict might just drive him over the brink of insanity. He couldn't lose her; he had to protect her. She couldn't be around him. That meant the best thing for her really was to just leave and take their daughter with her, as she had threatened. He could give her money to support her and the baby, if she would let him. Maybe he could even see them sometimes. He wondered if the baby would look like her. Either way, she would be a good mother, loving and kind, but with the mother-bear instincts to fight to the death for her young. He almost smiled at that, but in the next instant, he was clenching his teeth tightly against the despairing thought that he wouldn't be there to see it. If they broke up, Penny was almost certain to move on and find someone else. He wondered if he could see her with another man without losing his mind.

The apartment was empty when he got home. She hadn't been scheduled to work that night, but maybe she'd been called in, or maybe she was over at Bernadette's, pouring out her woes over a pint of ice cream. He noticed the box which had precipitated their argument, still sitting on the counter but now unwrapped. The lid gaped open an inch or so, and he couldn't help but lift the lid to satisfy his morbid curiosity. After all, shouldn't he at least know what caused his relationship with Penny to fall apart? The bright pink object was unfamiliar to him, but the catalog inside the box, advertising a variety of adult toys, made its purpose clear. He stared at it, castigating himself as he could only think that this was yet another way in which he had failed her.

* * *

Penny got home late and let herself in quietly. Earlier that day, she had called up her manager and begged for a shift. When he told her they didn't need help, she had pulled out her secret weapon and started crying over the phone. It wasn't as effective as it was in person, but he quickly offered to let her bus tables if she promised not to try to lift anything too heavy since she was now visibly pregnant. So she had spent the night wiping down tables and loading bins of dirty dishes into the industrial dishwasher. It had been years since she had done that sort of grunt work. She was so exhausted, she didn't know how she found the strength to climb the four flights of stairs to the apartment. Sheldon was nowhere in sight, but his bedroom door was closed. She stood in front of his door for a moment and then raised her hand and knocked. There was no answer. Twin tears streaked down her face as she turned and wearily trudged to her own room.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wow, I gotta admit, that last chapter was hard to write. But it just didn't feel honest to have so many changes thrown at them so fast & not cause tension between them. Sheldon and Penny both have unresolved issues that they need to overcome in order to grow into the kind of people - and parents - they need to be.

Sheldon's misery was immediately obvious to his friends. After watching him moping around for awhile, they decided to get him to talk. They were fairly certain something had gone wrong in his new relationship with Penny, but try as they might, they couldn't get anything out of him because he simply ignored their questions. Finally, the three of them decided to corner him in his office.

"What can I do for you, gentlemen?" Sheldon said as they entered. He scarcely glanced up from his white board, and the tone of his voice was weary.

"We've all noticed you're upset," Leonard began. "I'm guessing you had a fight with Penny."

Sheldon flinched at his words.

"Yeah, we know you're new to this whole dating thing, but we can help you figure it out," Howard added.

"That's right, and we're not leaving until you tell us what's going on," Raj said. He edged closer to Sheldon and quickly plucked the dry erase marker from his hand. Sheldon stared at them all for a long moment, before he silently offered Raj the cap to the marker. Clasping his hands behind his back, he said, "Apparently, being in a relationship with someone such as Penny is not conducive to my mental health. I terminated our relationship last night."

The guys burst into a chorus of shocked exclamations.

"How could you do that to her? Did you hurt her?" Leonard growled.

Sheldon flinched again and turned away quickly. "I don't know," he said at last in a low voice.

"I thought she dumped you," Leonard cried. "What the hell is wrong with you? I don't know why she ever wanted to go out with you. Maybe now she'll have finally come to her senses." With that parting salvo, he stormed off.

Raj and Howard watched him leave, aghast at the outburst. Sheldon, hating the unwanted attention, cringed under their scrutiny and wished for a hole to appear and swallow him up.

Howard finally gathered his nerve. "What did he mean, did you hurt her?"

"I didn't mean to," Sheldon whispered, still facing his whiteboard. When Raj and Howard attempted to question him further, he curled up protectively into a fetal position in a corner of the room and refused to answer them further.

* * *

Leonard pounded on the door to apartment 4A. He had driven like a maniac straight from Caltech. He'd barely been willing to tolerate his best friend's dating his ex, even though there were extenuating circumstances. If Sheldon had been stupid enough to break up with Penny, then he saw it as his second chance. Also, there was something bizarre about Sheldon's behavior; he'd acted almost ashamed of himself. Leonard's mind had immediately jumped to the worst possible conclusions.

"Penny? Penny! Are you in there?" he called, knocking again.

The door swung open, and there his ex-girlfriend stood, looking less than pleased. Her arms were crossed over her body above the swell of her stomach, and she was frowning at him. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work... Hey!"

In his anger at Sheldon, Leonard had completely forgotten any semblance of manners and started to pat Penny down. He was feeling for injuries, but she had no way of knowing that.

She knocked his hands away with a scowl. "Leonard, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Sheldon said he hurt you," he answered, peering at her face as if he expected to see bruises blossoming on her skin.

She put her hands on her hips. "What, you thought that meant physically? And so you were gonna rush to my rescue? You're such a jerk! I'm tempted to go junior rodeo on you just to show you how 'helpless' I am," she added sarcastically. "Look, nothing happened. We had a fight, and he got upset and yelled at me. That's hardly a reason for you to come rushing over here like the building's on fire. Besides, don't you have a girlfriend now?"

Leonard gaped at her. "Well, I… I mean…"

"Alex deserves better than a boyfriend who's still panting after his ex," Penny said. "But she won't hear about this from me. Go away, Leonard. Go back to work and apologize to Sheldon. I don't need you to protect me."

Penny waited as he stammered his apologies and headed down the stairs. She thought carefully about Sheldon's reaction the day before. Then she rummaged around the apartment until she found her purse. She headed for her car, now worried about him. She didn't need any help, but if that was the conclusion his friends had jumped to, she thought he might need hers.

At Caltech, Penny made her way through the hallways to Sheldon's office. She was aware of the curious stares directed at her rounded stomach and the whispers behind her back. It suddenly made her realize how much like high school this closed-off atmosphere was, and how much Sheldon's personal life was the subject of gossip and speculation. She found his office door ajar. Howard and Raj were standing around him as he huddled, crouched down, in a corner, with his head tucked down underneath his arms, which were folded across his knees.

"Both of you out, now," she ordered in a tone which brooked no argument.

Sheldon's head jerked up as he heard her voice. "Penny. You shouldn't be here."

She waited until the guys filed out sheepishly. "No, I should've come a while ago," she answered. "Honey, this is stupid. I don't think you really wanted to break up with me. I never should've said what I did about leaving. I didn't mean it."

He shook his head. "It's not safe for you to be around me. I could have hurt you. I lost control… like my dad."

Penny sat down on the cold floor next to him, awkwardly folding her legs beneath her. She put a hand on his arm. "What do you mean?" she asked in a low voice.

He started trying to explain about his childhood, and soon it all came pouring out: the alcoholism and the abuse, his helplessness to protect his sister, and his fear that he was turning into his father. By the time he wound to a halt, his face was wet with tears. Penny had been swiping at her eyes the whole time he was talking, but now she dug a tissue out of her purse and handed it to him. Once he had regained his composure, she reached out and laced her fingers through his.

"I am so sorry for everything that man put you through," she said. "He didn't deserve to be a father. You're nothing like him, honey. The very fact that you tried to distance yourself from me just because you yelled is proof that you're a better man." She reached out and gently turned his face toward her. "You are going to be a wonderful father," she said, taking his hand and placing it over her gently rounded stomach. "I know that because you're a wonderful boyfriend. I love you, and I promise that I will be right there with you. And if you screw up, I'll let you know," she added with a grin.

"You love me?" he asked, wide-eyed.

She laughed a little nervously. "Did I say that?"

"Yes." He tapped his head. "I have an eidetic memory, remember?" She gave him a little nod. "If it makes you feel any better, I think breaking up with you was more painful than tearing off my own arm."

She made a face and then smiled at him. "In that case, it should be easy for you to promise never to do it again."

"All right," he said quietly. He pulled her into his arms, and she lifted her face to his for a kiss. Neither of them broke it off for some time, and when Penny's tongue traced along his lower lip, he let her in. His hands tightened on her shoulders, pulling her closer. She moaned in anticipation, and within a few moments, she was so turned on it was all she could do to not rip his clothes off right then and there. Realizing that was what finally got her to pull away. Leaning her head against the cool metal side of a filing cabinet, she heaved a deep sigh.

"I want you so much. You have no idea how hard this is," she sighed.

"But you do love me?" he asked.

She groaned. "You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"

He answered, "The possibility of your leaving me has always been in the back of my mind. My fear drove me to do the very opposite of what I wanted. I know I have certain inhibitions, but seeing that you overcame yours, I will work to overcome mine."

She smiled. "In that case, I wish I'd said it months ago."

"Months ago?" he asked sharply.

Covering her face with her hands, she laughed a little. "I've had these fantasies about you for the longest time. I think it started when you gave me that first back rub. My mind immediately began wondering what else you could do with those long-fingered hands of yours. You know that's what that box in the mail was all about, right?"

He nodded. "It was open on the counter. I saw that you had ordered a personal massager… at least, that was what the invoice called it. But it was meant as an erotic stimulatory device, wasn't it?"

Penny chuckled at his odd description. "Yup. You packed all my other vibrators away in storage, and then you were driving me crazy. Short of tearing all your clothes off and jumping on top of you, what's a girl to do?"

He hesitated, and then ventured, "I don't like the idea of you resorting to a battery-powered object to meet your needs. I don't think I'm ready for coitus to be a part of our relationship, but perhaps we could work out some sort of compromise?"

Penny sat up straight, and her pulse began to race. "I'm listening."


	10. Chapter 10

They had started out watching a rerun of Star Trek, sitting close together on the leather couch as always. Sheldon was having a hard time concentrating on the show, however. His hands were clammy, and his heart was pounding in his chest. Every time he looked over at Penny, he felt the now-familiar twisting sensation in his stomach. Earlier that day in his office, they'd talked about what he was willing to do to further their physical relationship. He should've written it down. There could've been a contract, signed by both of them, detailing exactly what would or would not happen. But somehow, with Penny, he never got around to drawing up any sort of documents. Doing so would place restrictions on their relationship. When Leonard asked him whether he'd hurt Penny, it may have been inappropriate, but it had also clarified something for Sheldon. Somehow, his biggest fear had stopped being about his own well-being. He couldn't pinpoint quite when or how it had happened, but Penny's happiness had become more important than his own. That was why he was trying to overcome his nervousness at the thought of becoming more physical with her.

She slipped her hand into his and favored him with a sympathetic look. "Are you okay, sweetie? You seem kind of tense."

It was one of her most endearing qualities: that when it came to his emotions, she always seemed to know what was going on in his head.

He paused his show and then curled his hand more closely around hers. "I had planned for our foray into intimate activities to commence at nine PM, but that is over an hour away. I find that I am not enjoying the subsequent anticipation."

Her expression changed. "I don't want you to force yourself into anything. If you don't want to--"

"You misunderstand," he quickly interrupted. "The issue is that the long wait is obliging me to focus on my lack of practical experience and the resultant stress over my impending performance…"

Penny leaned over him, snatched up the remote, and turned off the television. "Honey, it's not a performance. It's just you and me. And if it's the wait that's making you nervous…" She framed his face with her hands and kissed him tenderly. "I'm not the one who wants to wait until nine."

He slid his arms around her and felt some of the tension drain away from his frame. "Perhaps we could engage in some preliminary activities." He bent over her, and she met him eagerly. Her hands curled around the hem of his shirt, as she had once explained, to prevent herself from accidentally touching him.

He pulled away long enough to say in a low voice, "You may proceed."

She looked confused for a moment, and then glanced down at her hands fisted in his shirt in surprise. "Honey, I'm not going to just tear your clothes off and have my way with you," she said with a feeble laugh.

"You aren't?" he asked, looking adorably confused.

Her eyebrows rose. "Not unless that's what you want."

He felt heat spreading up his neck and across his face. "I am aware that there are several stages of physical intimacy between kissing and coitus, but I am uncertain how or when to utilize them."

She smiled gently. "Why don't we start by kissing and then we'll go from there?"

He nodded a bit jerkily, unable to say he trusted her, although he did, implicitly. She loved him, and that thought baffled almost as much as it amazed. But it did inspire him to draw her closer and kiss her in the same way he had earlier in his office. He remembered the way she had come to his rescue, like some fiercely beautiful warrior queen of old. She'd listened without judging him as he confessed his deepest secrets, and then she had expressed her complete faith in him. No one had ever believed in him the way she did. It was that thought that made him realize he loved her, so deeply he hadn't even understood it at first. He spread his hands across the taut curvature of her abdomen and suddenly knew that she held nothing back from him. He didn't know how to be that unselfish, but he would try to give something back to her.

So he led her back to his bedroom where he removed her clothing slowly, piece by piece, kissing and stroking every inch of exposed skin until she was almost frantic with need. Then he slid his hand between her legs. She cried out and clutched at him tightly until her body pulsed around his fingers. She lay curled around him on top of his Star Trek sheets, unselfconsciously nude in contrast to his fully clothed state. He held her as long as he could, until he could no longer resist his compulsion to go wash his hands. In the bathroom, he adjusted his khakis uncomfortably. Mentally, he might not yet be ready for coitus, but his body was aching for her.

When he got back from the bathroom, he found that she had burrowed under his covers. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was even. He wasn't sure if she was fully asleep or just resting, but he was loathe to disturb her. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was just a few minutes before his bedtime. It didn't take long for him to make up his mind. Retrieving his pajamas from his dresser drawer, he changed in the bathroom. After brushing his teeth and flossing, he returned to his room where after a slight hesitation, he slid into bed next to her. She stirred and murmured sleepily.

"It's all right. Go back to sleep," he whispered. She cuddled closer to him, and he shifted so her body fit against his. Carefully, he rested one hand against the hard swell of her stomach. In a moment, he felt their daughter kick against his hand. He hadn't shared a bed with someone since he was four years old, when his mother had forced him to share a sofa bed with a cousin over the Christmas holidays. This was completely different. It was strange and unfamiliar… and somehow, absolutely perfect.

* * *

Penny awoke early the next morning, and the fog of sleep was quickly driven from her brain as she realized she had slept in Sheldon's bed. Propping herself into a sitting position, she saw her boyfriend sitting in a straight-backed wooden chair in one corner of the room. He was putting on a pair of dark socks, but he stopped when he heard her moving.

"You aren't normally up at this time of day," he observed.

"You don't normally let me sleep in your bed," she countered with a smile.

"You needed your rest."

"You need to come over here and kiss me."

Sheldon hesitated, and then quickly pulled on his other sock and slid his feet into his loafers. He crossed over to the bed and leaned over her. She lifted her arms to wind them around his neck, and the sheet slid down to pool around her rounded midsection.

It was only with the greatest difficulty that he was able to look away from the sight of her bared breasts, which had increased almost a full cup size from the pregnancy. She had never looked so beautiful to him, and as he kissed her, the urge to touch her again grew stronger. With a sudden tug, Penny pulled him down on top of her as she yanked on his shirts. He felt her hands caressing the bare skin of his lower back, and a sudden panic overrode his hormone fueled daze.

"I can't," he said as he pushed her hands away. "It's too much."

She released him with a reluctant groan. "Was last night just a one-time thing?"

"I… I need time to process all these changes."

She sighed unhappily and swung her legs the side of the bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a nervous edge to his voice.

The look she gave him was a flat stare, even as her eyes were brimming with moisture. "The sun's not up yet. I'm going to go sleep in my own bed, since I'm obviously not wanted here."

He let her pass, although he was confused and dismayed by the sudden shift in her attitude.

Up until now, Penny had weathered the hormonal swings of pregnancy rather easily, at least compared to Amy. The worst of it was her disturbing tendency to burst into tears every time she saw even a picture of a baby or small child, or even a kitten or puppy. But since there were no such pictures in his room, the only conclusion he could draw was that he was somehow the cause of her unhappiness. Reluctantly, he walked over to her room. Standing outside her door, he could hear her quietly sobbing. He reached for the door handle. He really didn't want to try to make amends, but the sound of her crying was like nails being driven into his skull. There was no way he could ignore it; he had to do something. So he pushed open the door.

"Penny?" he called quietly.

She was wrapped up in her blankets like a cocoon. At the sound of his voice, she turned only to say, "Go away."

He sighed, wishing he could do just that. "You seem upset," he ventured. It was a blanket statement that she had taught him: a neutral opener designed to allow the listener to talk about how they were feeling.

"I'm not upset; I'm angry. Apparently, this is what angry looks like when you're pregnant," she said, wiping the tears from her face.

"If I am the cause of your displeasure, then you'll need to tell me why."

"You just pushed me away again, and I just don't know if I can deal with it right now," she said, still curled up in a ball with her back turned to him.

"I've told you; I'm not ready…" he began.

She sat up and faced him. "You keep saying that, Sheldon, but I think it's just an excuse," she snapped. "The truth is, you don't want to, and you think if you keep putting it off, eventually the problem will go away on its own. Is that how you see me - a problem to be ignored? And what about our daughter? We're going to have a baby together. Right now, I can't believe I was so stupid to think that this could ever work. You're not cut out to be a father. You can't just wait around until it's convenient for you to be a parent. If you do that, our daughter will be all grown up before you think you're ready to be a dad."

Sheldon stared at her in consternation, uncertain what to say. He was afraid she was right. He sank down onto the edge of the bed, trying to deal with the emotional blow.

"I realized something recently," Penny said quietly. "Just a few days ago, I said I loved you. The thing is, I think I've had feelings for you for a long time, and I was just in denial or something. How else do you explain the fact that I agreed to have your baby? I don't think I would have ever agreed to do that for anyone else. It's just too… personal. We're always going to have this bond between us, and there's so much love and wonder and happiness…" She looked down at her stomach and caressed the round bump. "You keep holding back. I don't understand why you wouldn't want to be a part of that."

"You're also holding back," he said.

She glanced at him questioningly. Taking a deep breath, he strode back to his room, where he retrieved a small velvet box from his dresser. It was a family heirloom, an engagement ring that had been passed down through six generations of Coopers. He'd asked his grandmother to send it to him shortly after he and Penny had started dating. He walked back to her, and after a moment's pause, opened the box and showed her the diamond solitaire inside.

She gasped. "You want to get married?"

His face fell as he put it away again. "Yes, but I know that's the last thing in the world you would want."

"Then why…" Her gaze darted from his face to the closed drawer and back again. "You're in love with me." It was half a statement and half a question.

"More than I ever imagined possible. What else could motivate me to put your needs ahead of my own?"

"I... I don't know what to say," she faltered.

"That's why this ring has been in my drawer for weeks. You aren't ready for a commitment, and I'm not ready for coitus. They're two very different issues, but we approach them the same way."

She was silent for a long time. Finally, she said slowly, "What if I told you that I'd say yes if you made love to me right now?"

He stared at her for several seconds, wide-eyed. Then he reached down and pulled off his t-shirt.

"Sheldon…" she began. The thermal undershirt joined the t-shirt on the floor. He wasn't even bothering to fold his clothes or put them in the laundry basket. That was when Penny knew he was completely serious about her. All she'd wanted was to know how he would respond, but she'd never expected this.

"Stop," she ordered. She saw the awareness dawn on him as he realized she hadn't meant what she said. Her stomach wrenched sickeningly. "I'm sorry," she whispered and fled from the room.

She was huddled under an afghan on the sofa when he reappeared, fully dressed and looking composed with his messenger bag slung across his body. Then he glanced at her, and his face was taut with apprehension. "Shall I take the bus to work today?" he asked.

She gulped back another sob. Rising to her feet, she crossed the room to stand in front of him. "Honey, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please don't be mad at me."

He reached out and pulled her into his arms. "I'm partly to blame. I knew it was too soon to bring up… that particular subject."

She smiled up at him, although tears still streaked her face. "I'm so afraid of what I feel for you," she whispered. "What if it's not real? What if it's just hormones from the pregnancy?"

His expression turned bleak. "My feelings for you aren't going to change."

She looked away. "I know you don't understand, but that's why I want to… to make love to you. Because it means something to me - it would make our relationship seem more real."

He swallowed hard. "I'll take that under advisement," he finally told her in a low voice.


	11. Chapter 11

Normally when Sheldon arrived at work, he headed straight for his office, but today, he headed for Leonard's lab instead. He knocked at the door, relieved to find his friend was already there. They needed to have a conversation. As much as he was dreading it, putting it off would only increase his trepidation.

"There's something I have to tell you," he began. "It's important."

Leonard pushed away from his desk and stood. "What's up, buddy?" he asked.

Sheldon's gaze darted around the room as if to find some source of courage in the scientific equipment. When nothing helped, he finally looked Leonard squarely in the eye. "I'm in love with Penny. You should know that I want to marry her, although her response to that idea has been less than encouraging."

Leonard's eyes widened behind his thick glasses. "Wow. That's… that's huge. Did you actually propose?"

Sheldon shook his head. "Not yet. I suppose you could say I learned from your example."

Leonard sighed. "You shouldn't go off of what you saw happen when I was dating her. I hate to admit it, but she's way more into you than she ever was with me. That day you told us you broke up with her, I drove over to your apartment to see if she was all right."

Sheldon jerked in surprise.

Shaking his head, Leonard continued, "She almost punched me in the nose for implying you might've treated her badly. She was defending you, even then. I knew, from that moment on, that she'd never really been in love with me the way she loves you."

"So you're not angry with me?" Sheldon asked cautiously. "We're still friends?"

Leonard looked shocked. "Yeah, of course we're still friends. I guess we really haven't spent much time together lately outside of work. How about you and Penny come have dinner with me and Alex some night?"

"I'd like that," he answered quietly. Then he held out his hand. "Thank you."

Leonard studied the hand Sheldon held out to him for a moment before extending his own. They shook hands gravely, and a look of mutual respect and understanding passed between them.

* * *

"They're running away again," Penny pointed out. She was cuddled against Sheldon's side, his arm around her shoulders, as they watched TV together on the leather sofa. She had just started her third trimester. Her increasing discomfort from the pregnancy meant that she often woke up as early as he did. While he felt sympathetic, he was also secretly delighted that on Saturday mornings, she would shuffle out to the living room and watch his favorite show (well, one of them) with him.

"Yes, that's often the Doctor's first response to an unfamiliar situation."

"You're kidding," she deadpanned.

"No, I'm not kidding, and do not get any anchovy liquid on the sofa," he said, trying to sound stern.

"I had no idea these things were so good. You don't know what you're missing," she said with a condescending glance at his bowl of cereal.

He shuddered. "Your sense of taste is clearly skewed by pregnancy hormones, and what you're missing is one of the best shows the BBC has ever produced."

She shrugged, popped another anchovy in her mouth, and looked back at the screen. "So why do they run away so much? He always figures it out in the end, right?"

"He doesn't like to resort to violence. His identity is the Doctor; he's meant to heal and restore. He knows if he used the full power of his intellect, he would destroy his opponents. Although occasionally he finds it necessary, it's never his first choice."

"So he's so smart he could like, vaporize them all with his brain or something?" she asked as she set the tin down on the coffee table. She snuggled closer to his side. "Yup, I totally get why you like this show."

"Shh, we're coming to the good part."

Penny rolled her eyes. He thought all the parts were the good ones. She tugged on his arm, and without tearing his attention away from the show, he turned so she could lean against his chest. One lanky arm held her close, and his long fingers were splayed across her stomach so he could feel if the baby moved. She was feeling completely relaxed, and her eyelids drifted closed.

"I can't believe our daughter is watching Doctor Who in utero," he said quietly.

She opened her eyes drowsily. "What?"

"I'm happy," he said. "I'm so happy that I'm almost frightened. If I won the Nobel, I would be ecstatic, and I would finally feel vindicated against all those people who tormented me or thought I was crazy. But I'm not sure even that would make me feel this content. I feel... blessed, and that's not a word I ever thought I would use to describe my emotional state."

Penny smiled up at him. "There was a time when you would've been offended if someone said you had an emotion."

He nodded. "And now, saying that I love you seems inadequate to express how I feel." Suddenly, he grabbed the remote and switched off the television.

"What are you doing?" Penny asked, sitting up.

He stood and reached for her, pulling her to her feet. "I've seen this episode five times, and I had it memorized the first time I saw it. I don't need to see the end. Come with me... before I have a chance to rethink this."

Confused, Penny followed him back to their bedroom. Once inside, he kissed her and didn't stop until they were both breathing hard. His hands pulled her to him possessively, and he touched her with a surety that amazed her. Then he took a step back and pulled his t-shirt over his head, dropping it carelessly on a chair near his bed. The thermal undershirt followed. Her eyes widened in shock. He pulled her into his arms again, this time sliding her shirt over her head. She moaned as she ran her hands over his bare skin. Feeling him reach around behind her back to undo the clasp of her bra, she could only beg him, "Please don't stop."

"I won't," he promised. And he didn't.

In the aftermath of their passion, Sheldon could only wonder why he had waited so long. To call what had happened losing his virginity seemed a misnomer; he felt as if he had lost nothing and gained the deepest intimacy with the woman he loved. He understood now why she had craved that heady rush of ecstasy and the blissful peace which followed.

She stirred in his arms and turned toward him. "Okay, I admit it; you're a genius at everything," she murmured. With a smile, she slid her hands over his chest and then linked them behind his neck, pulling his face down to hers as she hooked a leg over his hip. Desire surged through him as he returned her caresses. "Prove it to me again?" she murmured teasingly. His response was everything she could have hoped for.

At work the following Monday, Sheldon had to endure a certain amount of good-natured teasing from his friends. This was one secret he would've been happy to keep from them, but apparently, he couldn't keep a sappy smile off his face whenever he thought about how he and Penny had spent the weekend. They'd hardly left his bed except for brief forays to the kitchen. He'd even unbent so far as to allow Penny to bring food into bed. Now, he had a hard time concentrating on his work. He had the appalling tendency to lose his train of thought whenever visions of Penny flashed through his mind, as they seemed to do at the most inopportune moments.

"Just wait until the baby's born. Then he'll be staggering around like a hollow-eyed zombie on three hours of sleep," Howard said gleefully, observing Sheldon's distracted state.

Sheldon shrugged, trying to ignore Howard. His thoughts immediately turned back to Penny. He could remember with perfect clarity what he used to think of her: a young woman whose life was full of ignorance and poor choices. He almost couldn't reconcile that impression with the way he thought of her now: the love of his life, brave, wise and strong. He was completely in awe of the way she nurtured their child, her body creating the perfect environment for their daughter until she was ready to be born.

* * *

Unfortunately, that didn't correlate with how Penny saw herself. According to her, she no longer had a cute little baby bump. Now she fretted about how huge she was getting and kept comparing herself to a whale. She was often tired and cranky. By the end of her seventh month, she let Sheldon persuade her to quit her job at the Cheesecake Factory. Instead, she spent much of her time shopping online for things for the nursery. Sheldon had never been more grateful for the idea of a gift registry. He privately thought she might've bankrupted him if she bought every frilly pink "necessity" she found online.

Bernadette dutifully hosted the baby shower, although Sheldon's mother showed up two days before and started to take charge. Bernie, never comfortable with her friend's pregnancy, gratefully deferred to someone with more experience in these matters. Penny's mom arrived the following day. It was the first time Sheldon had ever met her mother. He tried hard to be on his best behavior, although she did criticize him for deciding to raise a child in a fourth-story walk-up. He couldn't blame her for that, since his child's safety was of immense importance to him as well. Shortly after the ultrasound, he'd begun taking driving lessons. Penny took him out for practice occasionally, but he hadn't wanted to risk her as a passenger when he was still such a nervous driver. But he'd forced himself to learn to drive because he wanted what was best for his child. Now, he had to admit that their current living situation might not be ideal for a couple with a newborn. Penny's mom also managed to get in a few jibes about her daughter being the next generation of unwed mothers in their family. Sheldon quickly spoke up, saying that was Penny's choice and that he was willing to marry her anytime she wanted. He didn't understand why that should earn him a glare from his pregnant girlfriend. Penny's mom chimed in, saying that having a baby together was already a big commitment, so she didn't see why Penny should make such a fuss about getting married to such a nice young man who clearly loved her.

He had to ask Penny later to explain why she wasn't happy that he told her mom he wanted to get married. She threw up her hands. "If we do get married, I want it to be my choice, not because you or my mom pressured me into it."

After thinking about that for a moment, he replied, "I have no intention of causing you undue stress, and I can't imagine your mother would wish to do so either. I've already promised to respect your wishes on this matter. However, you should know that as long as we are unmarried, I feel unsettled. Our situation is indeterminate. I want us to be a family, and to me, that includes parents who are wed as a sign of their commitment to each other."

She sighed, and her face softened. "I guess I can't get mad at you when you put it like that. But marriage is a really big step. I just need more time."

Disappointed, he nodded. At least her answer wasn't an outright no.


	12. Chapter 12

"What about Corey? Or Dylan? Maybe one of those place names… would Tokyo make a good baby name?" Penny mused. She was slouched down on the leather sofa with her feet propped up on the coffee table. The styrofoam container from her takeout dinner (she'd had a craving for Chinese) was balanced on the mound of her pregnant belly.

Sheldon winced. "No. They're all terrible. I don't understand what's wrong with Mabel. That's my Meemaw's name, and you know how much she means to me."

"I know, sweetie," Penny answered impatiently. "But it sounds like something you'd call a cow. In fact, I'm pretty sure when I was in 4H--"

"For the love of Newton, don't finish that sentence!" he yelped.

Penny stifled a laugh. "Okay, that was mean. I won't compare your grandmother to a cow, but seriously, we're not naming her Mabel. What about Parker?"

He rose and plucked her takeout container off her stomach. "I don't understand your obsession with gender neutral names. They're almost never relevant. Even the most perfunctory internet search will yield basic information on an individual, including but not limited to gender. If atypical names appeal to you, we could name her Galadriel or Eowyn."

Wrinkling up her nose, she objected, "How would anyone even know how to spell that?"

Sheldon's eyes sparkled. "That was not an outright objection. Besides, as fond as many people are today of alternate spellings of traditional names, even a name as simple as Mary might be impossible to guess the orthography of the word."

Instead of answering, Penny winced and leaned forward, holding her stomach with both hands. In an instant, Sheldon was at her side. "Are you well?"

"Yup, it's just these damn… uh, darn Braxton-Hicks things. They hurt like… heck," she said with a rueful grimace. Now that they were counting down the final weeks until their baby's birth, she'd been trying to watch her language, with mixed results.

"Yes, mild contractions are an effective distraction from choosing our child's name."

"I think we should wait until she's born. Maybe when we see her face for the first time, we'll just know what her name should be."

"Either that, or we'll be arguing in the maternity ward as you are attempting to recover from childbirth while our friends and family are continually interrupting us."

She sighed. "Okay, you have a point, but I'm too tired to talk about it anymore tonight."

Sheldon stepped to her side and offered his hand as she attempted to leverage herself off the couch. She groaned. "Oh go- uh… gosh, I'm so sick and tired of being big as a house. This kid needs to come out!" she cried, poking at her stomach. Sheldon could clearly see her belly change shape as their daughter twisted and turned in response.

"I think she is no less happy about the situation than you are. The only home she has ever known has become quite cramped," he remarked, gently caressing her stomach. "But there's still more than a month until your due date. Come get ready for bed. I'll give you a back massage once you change into your pajamas."

"What if I don't put any on?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at him with an impish grin.

She had to look carefully to see the twinkle in his eyes (although she did see it because she knew what to look for) as he answered, "Then I'll still give you a massage, even if you are unclothed."

As he followed her back towards their bedroom, Sheldon took a moment to survey Leonard's old room, now set up as a nursery. He paused to run a hand along the crib with its pastel pink bedding, the changing table and rocking chair. A small dresser was filled with tiny outfits (many of them pink), along with several packages of diapers. The top drawer contained every imaginable infant first aid item. In short, the nursery lacked nothing except its inhabitant. He felt an odd mix of pride and trepidation at the thought.

He was surprised to find Penny still dressed. She smoothed the stretchy knit top she was wearing over her stomach, and then did it again.

"I'm so big," she said despondently. "I feel like a beached whale. I have all these gross blue veins everywhere and dark circles under my eyes. I even have stretch marks." She looked up at him and bit her lip. "I know sex has never been a big thing for you, but I don't see how you can possibly be attracted to me."

Sheldon's expression cleared. He often erred when it came to reassuring Penny. His people skills were still practically nonexistent, but he believed he knew how to handle this particular situation. "You know I have always found you aesthetically pleasing," he told her, as he drew her close. "But your appearance is not the reason I asked you to carry my child, nor does it have any bearing on why I fell in love with you."

She shook her head and laughed weakly. "Only you would think telling a woman that you don't find her pretty is a complement."

He opened his mouth to say that wasn't what he meant at all, but she pulled him down toward her, silencing his objections.

* * *

Penny shoved against the mattress, leveraging her unwieldy body out of the bed with difficulty. A glance at the glowing red digits of the clock on Sheldon's nightstand showed it was almost four in the morning. She'd been waking almost every two hours like clockwork for the past several nights. It was like her body was trying to prepare her for the sleepless nights ahead. Personally, she could do without the practice insomnia. Her stomach muscles suddenly tightened, growing rock-hard. The Braxton-Hicks contractions left her feeling exhausted and sore. Her due date was still a couple of weeks away, but there were times when she thought she might go crazy with nothing to do except wait. Sheldon, of course, had their hospital bags packed months ago. The extent to which he had planned for every contingency was both scary and impressive. He even had a kit prepared in case of a home birth, something which freaked her out so badly she couldn't even acknowledge it as a possibility.

She made her way to the nursery, knowing every inch of the short distance by heart already. Sitting in the rocking chair in the dark, she decided that tomorrow, she might go through the drawers full of clothes one more time. Maybe even clean… when was the last time the room had been dusted? She knew Sheldon cleaned every surface religiously, and yet suddenly, the idea of cleaning everything herself, with her own two hands, appealed to her. Having made up her mind, she crept back into bed, laboriously turning over so she could sleep with her hand on Sheldon's arm. Just being able to touch him made her ridiculously happy, and she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

The moment Sheldon got home that evening, he recognized something was different. He sniffed cautiously and then looked at his girlfriend in confusion. "Do I smell cleaning fluids?"

"Oh, sorry," she replied, lifting her sleeve to her nose for a quick sniff. "I just felt like going over the nursery one more time." Then she paused and looked at him quizzically. "Wait a minute, you love to clean. Don't you like me smelling like bleach and stuff?"

He gazed at her sternly. "Perhaps under other circumstances, but I don't want you to expose our daughter to strong chemicals. Why were you cleaning?" He asked this last part apprehensively. It was entirely out of character for Penny, especially since she had been feeling so tired lately.

She grinned. "Don't worry; I wore gloves and a face mask. I was just feeling really good today, so I wanted to make sure the baby's room was ready."

"I would have done that for you," he objected, although the look on his face was tender.

"I know, but I'm not working anymore, so I figured, why not?" She leaned against him. "You aren't mad at me, are you?"

"Of course not."

"So aren't you going to kiss me?"

One kiss quickly turned into many, and they ended up leaving a trail of clothes from the front door to the bedroom. This was another instance where Penny got her own way. To her, it was a sign that he loved her - that his desire for her overrode his instinctual need to have everything in its place. He didn't understand it, but it made her happy, so he did it anyway. He even cuddled with her for several minutes afterwards before getting up, putting on clean clothes and picking up their discarded clothing.

After that, he started making dinner. Penny was by his side, chopping vegetables, when she sucked in a deep breath and dropped the knife. "Ow, that one really hurt," she said, clutching at her abdomen.

He watched her uneasily. Her due date was twelve days away, but that didn't preclude the possibility of her going into labor early. "Braxton Hicks?" he asked.

"Yeah." She kept rubbing at her stomach though, and in a few minutes, he saw her wince again.

He rose to his feet. "Penny, are you-"

"I'm fine," she snapped, glaring at him.

He sat back down again, but now every nerve in his body was attuned to her. He watched her out of the corner of his eye and listened to the rhythm of her breathing. They sat in silence until she cried out, doubling over as much as a nine-months-pregnant woman could. Without a word, Sheldon got up and walked into their bedroom. For a moment, a wave of lightheaded fear washed over him, and he quickly sat down on the bed before his legs gave way. As soon as the dizziness passed, he pulled out the hospital bags which had already been packed for months. He carefully checked their contents, even though he had every item in them memorized. As he walked out, he paused by the door of the other room. Looking in at the waiting crib, changing table and rocking chair, he felt a thrill that was equal parts excitement, pride and terror. He was going to be a dad.

When he returned to the living room, he dropped the bags by the door.

"What are you doing?" Penny asked.

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Don't be silly. I'm not going into labor; it's too early. It's just-" Her words were cut off with a gasp as she grimaced in pain.

"I'm going to bring your car around to the front of the building, and then we are going to the hospital," Sheldon said in an authoritative tone she'd never heard him take with her before. He shouldered the bags and left before she could object.

In the hallway, he stopped briefly by the elevator, mashing the down arrow. When nothing happened, he muttered under his breath and turned to walk down the stairs. Unbeknownst to Penny, he had already threatened their landlord with a class-action lawsuit. It was time to let his lawyer know to pull out all the stops, but right now, he had more immediate concerns.


	13. Chapter 13

Penny paced in the apartment, scared and anxious, as she waited for Sheldon to return. When he did, he took her arm and carefully escorted her down the stairs. Twice, she had to stop as her stomach muscles seized up as if they were trying to crush her. Not crush her, she realized, but expel the child that was ready to be born.

This is really happening, she thought in a panic. A baby - was she really ready to be a mother? Then she thought that in just a few more hours (maybe several), she would see her daughter's face. A small thrill of excitement took the edge off her fear.

Sheldon still didn't like driving more than thirty-five miles an hour, but he got them to the hospital in record time. In a short while, she was checked into the maternity ward, lying in a hospital bed with a monitor across the bulge of her belly.

"Everything looks good," the nurse cheerfully informed them, looking at the monitor. "The baby's heartbeat is strong, and your contractions are about eight minutes apart. I'm going to do a quick internal exam." She pulled on a pair of latex gloves and reached under Penny's cotton hospital gown with practiced ease. "Hmm… feels like you're about two centimeters dilated."

"Is that good?" Penny asked.

"First pregnancy, right?" the nurse asked with a smile. "It may take several hours. The first time usually takes longest. It's like your body's never done this before, so it's sort of figuring things out as it goes. Just try to relax and allow your body to do what it needs to."

Sheldon paced, obsessively watching every peak and valley on the monitor. But after a couple of hours, Penny's contractions slowed to ten minutes apart, and then fifteen.

The next time the nurse came in, she told them she was sending them home. "False labor," she explained sympathetically. "Happens all the time. Just go home and get some rest. Since your due date is still a couple of weeks away, this is a good thing. It'll give your baby more time to grow."

The two of them wearily left the hospital. It was almost midnight, and Penny leaned on Sheldon for support as he led the way to her car.

"I feel so stupid," she complained. "We got all excited and went to the hospital for nothing."

"Perhaps we should consider this a trial run," he answered thoughtfully as he carefully guided the car out onto the street.

She glanced over at him and smiled. "Thank you… for trying to make me feel better, for driving me to the hospital, for not freaking out when we thought I was in labor." She laughed. "For having our hospital bags packed for the last three months, but reining in your obsessive need to prepare for everything enough to let me decorate the nursery however I want."

"I have to confess, I almost passed out when I went to get our bags," he replied.

Penny laughed tiredly. "But you didn't pass out, did you? To me, you seemed so calm and in control. You've changed so much over the past year, in a good way, and I know…" Her voice faltered as tears welled up in her eyes. "I know I can trust you with my life and with our daughter's. So I guess what I'm asking is… do you still want to marry me?"

Sheldon's grip tightened on the steering wheel, and he met her eyes for as long as he dared while driving. "Very much."

"Then let's do it now, before the baby's born. We'll tell her the whole complicated story someday, but when she's little… all she needs to know is that her parents love each other as much as they love her."

He hesitated. "You've had a difficult day. Are you sure you want to make a decision like this under such circumstances? I don't want you to have any cause for second thoughts."

She leaned back against the headrest, closing her eyes. "I want to marry you because today was so difficult… because you were by my side the whole time."

He glanced over at her and gave her a shy smile. "Then we'll get married as soon as I can get the license."

When they got home, Sheldon helped her undress. As he knelt in front of her to take off her shoes, he suddenly stopped and looked up at her. "I forgot something I was supposed to do," he murmured, looking chagrined. He rose and withdrew the small velvet box from his dresser drawer. Then he got down on his knees in front of her again. "Will you marry me?" he asked simply.

"Yes." She gave him a tender smile, looking radiant despite the dark circles under her eyes.

He slid the ring on her finger and kissed her gently before helping her into bed.

* * *

The next morning, he drove them to the courthouse to apply for the marriage license.

"Did you ever want a real wedding, like with flowers and cake? You in a suit, and me in a frilly dress? Friends and family, the whole nine yards?" she asked as she was filling out paperwork.

"Not until recently," he replied. "I never thought I would want to get married at all. But I would appreciate having a formal ceremony at some point. It would mean a lot to my family, my Meemaw especially. She always told me that I had to find my own path. She always supported me. I know she wants me to be happy." He reached over and caressed Penny's left hand. "She wore that same ring, the one you're wearing now, for more than forty years. After he died, she put it aside and said she was saving it for the woman who would love me like my Pop-pop loved her. I can't wait for you to meet her," he added almost shyly.

She squeezed his hand. "Me too," she said softly. "And if a big wedding is what you want, I'll even wear the frilly dress… after I get back in shape once the baby's born."

The two of them were agreed: they would say their vows in a simple, private ceremony in front of a justice of the peace. As far as Penny was concerned, none of their friends and family even needed to know until they were invited to the formal ceremony at some point in the future. She figured that way, her mom and Mary Cooper could fuss and argue all they liked over the details. She wouldn't care, having already had the kind of wedding she really wanted.

* * *

Two nights later, Sheldon was woken by a sound that gradually penetrated his consciousness. He sat up in the still darkness and tried to identify what it was. Penny still seemed to be asleep, but after a few minutes, she stirred and made a high-pitched noise that was halfway between a whimper and a keening sound. Uneasily, he got up and circled to the other side of the bed. Penny flinched in her sleep. As he watched, her face contorted, and she moaned again. He lightly brushed her taut abdomen with his fingertips and felt the muscles tightening under his hand. The contraction lasted for almost a minute. Unwilling to move and possibly disturb her, he began counting off the seconds in his head. About ten minutes later, he had his answer. Her contractions were about five minutes apart. He knew he should get dressed, but he was afraid any movement on his part might rob her of the partial oblivion of sleep. She already seemed to be in pain. He couldn't imagine how he had been so cavalier about the idea of Penny in labor. Women still died in childbirth, infants too, despite all the advances of modern medicine. The room seemed to sway around him as he contemplated the woman he had come to love and who he may have doomed with his callous selfishness.

While he stood frozen in morbid contemplation, Penny cried out. Her eyes snapped open, and she looked around wildly. In a flash, he was kneeling by her side. "Ssh, there, there, I'm here; Sheldon's here," he murmured.

She gripped his hand tightly until the pain eased. "Holy crap, I thought it hurt before," she gasped. "This is it, isn't it?"

He nodded, thankful that he hadn't yet face-planted on the carpet although inwardly, he was panicking. "I was timing your contractions as you slept. We need to get you to the hospital quickly." Sheldon wasn't normally a very demonstrative person, but his worries prodded him to say, "I love you. You know that, right?"

Her face softened. "Of course I do, honey. I love you too." Her smile abruptly disappeared. "Wait. We were gonna get married - tomorrow, before the baby comes."

"It looks like our daughter has other ideas. We'll have to do it later."

Her face crumpled. "No! That's not how it was supposed to--" Then she gasped and clutched at his arm.

"You're not thinking clearly. I'm taking you the hospital, now."

The next hour felt like deja vu as Penny was checked into the maternity ward. Sheldon rummaged through his hospital kit, offering her things like tennis balls and fuzzy socks. She almost chucked them at his head.

"I just want the epidural!" she yelled. Her cry turned into a moan as another contraction seized her. Sheldon backed away in a panic. What had he been thinking to bring her here: people died in hospitals. His mind flashed to his father's funeral, then his grandfather's, the pastor offering futile words of comfort… His eyes widened. The pastor… why didn't he think of that before?

"I'll be right back," he told Penny, and to her shock, he dashed out of the room.

Sheldon burst into the small ecumenical chapel, panting and wild-eyed. A middle-aged man wearing a polo shirt and jeans was the room's only occupant.

"Reverend… Father…"

"Just Pastor Mike will do," the man replied. He rose, clutching a well-worn Bible in one hand. "What can I do for you, son?"

The moniker, kindly meant yet reminding him of his difficult childhood, almost undid Sheldon. Taking a deep breath, he tried to regain some of his composure. "Do you believe in the authority of church over state?" he blurted out.

The pastor frowned, puzzled. "I believe God is the ultimate authority, of course. Whether the church acts in that authority is an entirely different question. But you look like you have a problem, and not a philosophical one."

"Yes. I need to know if you're willing to marry two people without a marriage license."

"I'm sorry, I can't do that…"

"No, wait." Sheldon began explaining the situation, his words tumbling over each other as he told how much Penny wanted to get married to prove to their daughter that they loved each other. How they had an appointment at the courthouse tomorrow, that all they needed was that piece of paper. But now Penny was in labor, and he couldn't stand the idea of not granting her last request, should the unthinkable happen. "I know it won't be a legal union, but could you please come perform the ceremony?"

Pastor Mike sighed. "I shouldn't," he said. Then he leveled a stern gaze at Sheldon. "If you brought the license to me tomorrow, that would make everything above board."

"So you'll do it?" Sheldon asked excitedly.

The pastor sighed. "I wasn't supposed to be on the hospital rotation today. I just came in to visit a parishioner who had surgery. After I visited her, I felt the Lord telling me to stay, that he had something for me to do. I think this is it." He shook his head. "God truly works in mysterious ways. I gave up trying to understand his plans a long time ago. Well, lead on, son."

Sheldon was simultaneously so excited and anxious that he could have tugged on the preacher's hand until they reached the maternity ward. Fortunately, that wasn't necessary, as the man seemed to understand the urgency of the situation. When they got to the labor and delivery room, the pastor laid a restraining hand on Sheldon's arm.

"I've been married for twenty-two years, and if that time had taught me anything, it's that women always reserve the right to change their minds - especially in a situation like this one. You'd better go talk to her first. I'll wait right here."

Mutely, Sheldon nodded and pushed open the door. Penny was lying on her side with the nurse and a man in scrubs doing something to her back.

She looked up when he walked in. "I'd kill you except it feels so good right now not to be in pain."

"The epidural?"

She nodded. "You better have a damn good excuse for walking out on me like that. Going for a cup of coffee isn't going to cut it."

Sheldon noted her language had become, in the words of Spock, more "colorful", but wisely decided not to comment on it. Instead, he looked confused. "I don't drink coffee, but I did find a pastor in the hospital chapel who's willing to marry us. It won't be legal until he can sign the license, but it was the best I could do."

Her mouth hung open for a moment, then she reached her arms out. "Come here," she said in a choked voice. He obeyed, and she pushed up off the bed to cling to him tightly. "You are a genius - my genius. You really can do anything, can't you? I'm sorry I made you wait. I love you so much."

In a moment, Pastor Mike was summoned into the room. Sheldon found himself surprisingly gratified when the preacher prayed for their marriage, for a safe delivery, and for the health of their child before reciting the simple, time-honored words of a traditional wedding ceremony. Penny cried and thanked him profusely, and Sheldon unbent so far as to shake the man's hand before he left.

Over the next few hours, Sheldon had never been so grateful for modern medicine. There were times when the anesthetic being delivered through the epidural wasn't strong enough, and it was agony just watching Penny writhe in pain, waiting for the nurse to return and adjust the drip feed. Finally, it was time for her to push, a process that took far longer than any movie or television show had ever indicated. He did his best to be supportive, but he wasn't sure he succeeded. He had a row of deep, red crescent-shaped marks in his palm where she had dug her nails into his hand. Then a flurry of motion from the nurses, an announcement of "I see the head!" from the obstetrician, and in a moment, their daughter made her way into the world. She began crying almost immediately - a soft, tentative sound that quickly grew in volume as she used her lungs for the first time. An impossibly tiny bundle was placed in Penny's arms, bundled in a blanket and knitted cap so that only the reddened face peeped out. Sheldon couldn't take his eyes off her. She was beautiful; she was perfect.

"Look at her, sweetie," Penny whispered in awe. "Look at what we made together - a whole, new person."

Sheldon kissed his wife, told her over and over again how much he loved her, and smiled so much that his cheeks started to hurt. It was worth it - every pain and disappointment he had ever experienced in his life was worth it, if it had led him to his moment.


	14. Chapter 14

For the next couple of hours, the new parents did nothing but marvel at their seemingly perfect newborn daughter and congratulate each other to an extent that, under any other circumstances, might have been a bit sickening. Sheldon, at Penny's insistence, had carefully maneuvered himself into the hospital bed so he could cradle both his wife and child. He took every opportunity to smugly remind Penny that she was now his wife. In turn, she pretended to be annoyed and made faces at him, as if she hadn't been the driving force behind their hasty and not-yet-legal union. But they had said their vows together, and the Cooper family now graced her finger, and that was all that mattered to him.

"Did you know," he asked, gently caressing her left hand, "that this ring has been passed down in my family through six generations?"

Penny sucked in a quick breath. "And you gave it to me? Wait, does your mother know?"

He smiled and stroked her hair. "Not yet. A few years after my father died, my mom stopped wearing the ring. She asked my Meemaw to keep it safe until me or my siblings wanted to get married. Funny thing was, Meemaw told her she was going to hold it for me. If I didn't get married before she died, she said either Mary could decide or the three of us could fight over it."

Penny frowned. "I don't want to cause a family feud. I know your Meemaw means a lot to you, but I don't care what ring I wear, or even if I have one at all. I just want you."

"You have me," he assured her solemnly. "Until death do us part, and the ring is a symbol of that. Besides, we already have the next generation right here," he added, gently caressing the tiny bundle that was his new daughter.

She chuckled a little at that. "Shouldn't the Cooper family ring be passed down to a son?"

His eyes lit with mischief. "Are you planning for our second child already?"

This earned him a punch on the arm, although it didn't have much force behind it. "Hell, no. I feel like a Mack truck drove over me, then backed up and did it again. I'm never getting knocked up again, ever. I don't care how much you pay me," she joked.

Sheldon's phone chimed softly, and he dug it out of his pocket. "Our friends are here," he said. "They want to know if we're ready for visitors."

She winced and patted at her hair. "I must look like crap," she grumbled, then glanced down at the infant sleeping peacefully in her arms. "Can I say crap in front of the baby?"

"She won't start repeating what you say for well over a year... and you look beautiful," he added. Even so, he brought her a hairbrush and helped her cover the hospital gown with a frilly pink robe, bought especially for the occasion.

In a few moments, Howard, Bernadette, Leonard and Raj filed in, wide-eyed and talking only in whispers. Raj had brought a huge, pink, overstuffed teddy bear; he parked it on a rocking chair in the corner and then approached Penny. "She's so adorable!" he squealed quietly. "Can I hold her? What's her name?"

Sheldon instantly interposed his body between his friend and his newborn child, brandishing a huge bottle of hand sanitizer. "Not until I'm sure you're not harboring some virulent plague." He pumped globs of clear gel onto all of his friend's hands. "Rub the alcohol over your hands for at least thirty seconds," he ordered.

Penny smiled at his high-handedness but didn't protest. When Raj approached her for a second time, she carefully transferred the baby into his eager grasp. "Her name is…" she began. She hesitated. The choice of their daughter's name hadn't been an easy task, but after weeks of arguing, she and Sheldon had finally decided upon a first and middle name that met all their criteria. Yet after hearing his story about the ring being passed through generations of his family, she'd begun to have second thoughts. She glanced up to see her husband hovering protectively over his daughter. The tender expression on his face was at odds with the way he was scolding Raj about properly supporting her head. "Her name is Rowan Mabel Cooper."

At her words, Sheldon's head whipped around, and if it was possible, he looked even more overjoyed than he had at anytime in the past few hours. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Penny nodded as tears began to blur her eyes. "Yup, I'm sure. Rowan because it's both gender neutral and sounds elven - at least Sheldon thinks so - and Mabel for Sheldon's Meemaw, the one person who always encouraged him and never thought he was crazy."

"Shows how much she knows," Sheldon muttered. In one swift movement, he crossed to Penny's side and kissed her with an intensity that caused the room to fall silent. "I am crazy; I'll admit it - crazy for you."

The silence was broken by Raj. "Oh, look, she yawned. That's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life!"

"Yeah, she is kind of... sweet," Bernadette said. She reached a tentative hand toward the baby, and then snatched it back.

"Would you like to hold her?" Raj gallantly offered.

After a brief hesitation, Bernie nodded. "I guess I should. She's going to be the closest thing I have to a niece."

Leonard had edged over toward the hospital bed, where Sheldon had stationed himself, his gaze darting between his child and the woman he loved. A woman I once loved, too, Leonard thought, but surprisingly, there was no bitterness to that memory as there had once been. He'd been infatuated with Penny; at times, somewhat obsessed with her. Yet there was no denying the joy radiating from her now. He knew that he'd never been able to give her even a fraction of the happiness he could see she felt now.

He leaned over the bed and gingerly hugged her. "I owe you an apology," he whispered. "For that day when I came over to your apartment…"

She shook her head. "If you owe anyone an apology, it's Sheldon, and you know he's already forgiven you. To him, you're the brother he always wanted, instead of that bullying jackass who shares DNA with him."

A sigh from Sheldon, and then, "I can hear you, you know."

Penny smirked. "And was I wrong about any of it, sweetie?"

"No," he admitted.

Leonard swallowed hard. "You're like the kind of brother I always wanted too." Without warning, he threw his arms around Sheldon, who flinched, but then carefully brought his arms up to pat his friend's shoulder. Penny giggled; her husband still looked awkward as hell touching anyone else but her.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt the bromance over here," Howard said, poking his head around them. The two men quickly stepped back and resumed their normal distance. "But are you seeing what I'm seeing?" He jerked his chin over to where Bernie, Alex and Raj stood huddled around the baby. Bernie was holding Rowan, and her expression had softened into something approaching wonder as she smiled down at the infant.

"I've been thinking about… well, I want to ask Bernie to marry me," Howard confessed. "But the biggest obstacle has always been the fact that I want a large family, and she hates kids."

"Looks like someone might be changing her mind," she replied with a smile.

* * *

To his friend's surprise, Sheldon used most of his accumulated vacation time and spent the next four weeks home with Penny and their daughter. Both his mother and Penny's came to visit during that time. There was no room for guests in the apartment any more. Although Sheldon had previously been willing to sleep on the sofa when his mother came to visit, he could no longer do so now that he was sharing a bed with Penny, nor would he wish to. Sometime during her pregnancy, Penny had superseded his mother in his estimation. As for Penny's mother, he found her to be a quiet, soft-spoken woman, nothing like her daughter. He actually thought her visit was more peaceful and appreciated the time she spent with Penny which freed up some time for him to work on his latest theories. Even so, their apartment was too small to afford him the silence and isolation that he preferred when he worked. Much to his dismay, it was becoming increasingly clear that his home for the past ten years wasn't suitable for his new life circumstances, even though his threat to bring a class action lawsuit against their landlord had produced the desired results. By the time he brought his exhausted wife and infant daughter home from the hospital, he proudly escorted them into the newly repaired elevator.

When he finally returned to work, he was a changed man. Often sleep-deprived (as Howard had predicted), he lacked the energy to scold his grad students the way he used to, and they quickly learned to head off any diatribe by asking about his daughter. Sheldon was obsessively proud of her. Photos of her "accidentally" found their way into his classroom presentations, and he never tired of bragging about her latest developments. His friends might have found him tedious but for two things. They were already used to this sort of behavior from him, but his happiness was so apparent that his pride was much more tolerable.

* * *

Penny had her hands full with little Rowan. As she adjusted to life as a mom, she found she wasn't all that excited about the prospect of returning to work. Fortunately, Sheldon loved the idea of her "providing full-time care" for Rowan and told her that she was actually saving them money but not putting their daughter in daycare.

"Not to mention lessening her exposure to all sorts of virulent contagions," Sheldon commented with a shudder.

Rowan was already mobile by the time Penny began to think about a wedding ceremony for their family and friends. She hadn't been wearing her ring at the hospital, since her fingers had gotten too swollen to wear it. But later, she allowed Sheldon to tell everyone close to them, and when her mom and Sheldon's came for a visit, she was glad she had. Knowing they were at least engaged had seemed to pacify the strait-laced Mary Cooper. After dragging her feet for months, claiming she was too busy to plan a wedding, Penny suddenly changed her tune. She set a date a mere two months in the future, and the next several weeks were a bustle of activity. Even though she only wanted a simple wedding, Sheldon's mom was constantly trying to "help", sending them long lists of distant relatives they just "had" to invite or trying to strong-arm them both into a more elaborate wedding. Much to Penny's relief, Sheldon had finally found a backbone where his mother was concerned and told her in no uncertain terms that he would support whatever decisions Penny made. As for his opinion, he was always willing to give it if asked, but he didn't care about flowers or reception seating. In his mind, this was just a celebration after the fact, and he still wasn't too fond of parties.

He changed his mind the day of his wedding. The moment he saw his bride walking down the aisle - or in this case, a snowy white runner, as Penny had wanted an outdoor wedding - he knew, as with the birth of his daughter, that it had been worth every effort and then some. Penny was radiant in a flowing empire gown. The gauzy material fell in gentle folds from a rhinestone-studded band decorating the high waistline. A matching jeweled headband ornamented her hair, swept up in a loose romantic style, instead of the traditional veil. Sheldon had never seen anything so beautiful. He stood, entranced, until Leonard (his best man) thumped him on the back.

"Breathe," Leonard muttered. "Penny'll kill me if I let you pass out before you say your vows."

Sheldon nodded as a muscle under his eye twitched slightly. To him, this was only the public acknowledgement of their marriage, which had already existed for almost a year. Coos of delight drew his attention back to the aisle where Rowan, adorable in a white lace dress which contrasted with her dark curls, had been toddling hand-in-hand with her mother. She had apparently pulled away to hug her grandparents, greeting them with lisping cries of "Meemaw! Pop-pop! Gammy!" That done, she deftly avoided her mother's grasp and made a slightly unsteady beeline for her dad.

"Up! Up! Tisses!" she ordered. Sheldon couldn't have refused his daughter for the world. His face lit up as he swept her into his arms and let her cover his face with slightly sticky kisses. "Love you, daddy," she burbled, drawing more "aww's" from the small crowd.

"Want me to hold her? Here, baby, come to Aunt Missy," Sheldon's sister coaxed. She was standing just a few feet away, along with Bernie and Penny's sister as bridesmaids. Howard and Raj stood behind Leonard as the groomsmen.

"No, Mommy! Want Mommy!" Rowan cried, leaning so far forward in her father's arms that a less experienced caregiver might have dropped her.

Penny reached his side and grabbed her daughter as she wound her chubby arms around her mom's neck like a bipedal octopus. "Just like your father," Penny said fondly. "Always wanting to be the center of attention."

After bestowing several kisses on her mom, Rowan began to squirm and twist in Penny's arms. "Wanna tiss the baby," she demanded.

Penny and Sheldon exchanged a look. "Of course, we'll kiss you, sweetheart," Sheldon said, reaching for her and hoping the movement disguised the slight twitching under his right eye.

But Rowan would not be diverted. "No! My baby!" She stretched precariously between her parents until she was almost hanging upside down. Then she patted her mother's stomach and kissed it, saying, "Love you, baby."

There were several gasps from the audience. Penny's mother broke the silence. "You're pregnant?"

"Again?" Bernie, the maid of honor, added a bit waspishly.

Penny's cheeks were a much deeper shade of pink as she nodded. Sheldon had never looked more proud as he moved to put his arm around his wife, drawing her closer as her mom, and then most of their guests, ignored tradition and swarmed around them to congratulate them.

"We were going to wait a few more weeks to tell everyone," Sheldon explained ruefully.

Penny giggled. "It's just another way she's just like her daddy - she can't keep a secret."

"I can too keep a secret," he countered. "I've kept one for over a year." Then he clamped his mouth shut, realizing what he'd done.

His wife was laughing helplessly now, hanging onto his arm. "You might as well tell them, sweetie. I'm surprised you managed to keep it in this long."

He shot a confused glance at her, unsure whether she was being sarcastic, but then she gave him a smile and a nod. With a sigh of relief, he confessed how they had already said their vows in the hospital while Penny was in labor. "I thought you might be upset that you weren't there," he admitted to his mother. "So we agreed not to tell anyone, but it hasn't been easy."

"I hope you can forgive us," Penny added.

"Are you kidding? I just found out my first grandchild _wasn't_ born out of wedlock. I'm pleased as punch!" Mary Cooper crowed.

"We're just happy you're happy, slugger," Penny's dad said, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"And that there's going to be another grandbaby!" Penny's mom gushed.

"Ooh, I can't wait either!" Raj exulted. "Another mini-Cooper!"

Penny groaned as Raj's joke caused scattered chuckles. Her hand went to her stomach, glad that all their secrets were out in the open… or most of them, at least. She didn't mind telling her friends how much she loved being a mom. What she wasn't quite ready to tell them was that she loved being home with her daughter too. Bernie might never understand, Penny had always known she was never going to have a big, high-powered career like the rest of her friends. She'd been surprised to find that she loved spending time caring for an infant, something that had never appealed to her in the past, but that was before she'd had a child of her own. Before she fell in love with her best friend, and then fell in love with him even more when she saw how fatherhood matured him. They had both changed together, each making the other a better person than they could have been on their own. That was why she couldn't wait to add another child to their little family. She hadn't wanted to scare Sheldon, but she hoped they would have a big family someday.

She insinuated herself through the press of friends and family. "Two pregnancies, two weddings," she murmured in his ear. "I hope this isn't becoming a habit. It's going to get a bit silly by the time we get to our fourth or fifth kid."

Sheldon's eyes opened a little wider. "Fourth or fifth child?"

"Yup. The world needs more mini-Coopers," she said, trying and failing to keep a straight face.

"No, the world needs more us, more…"

"More Shenny?" she asked with a grin.

He thought about that for a moment. "Yes, I like that. More Shenny." He held out his arm to her in an old-fashioned gesture, and she leaned against him, blissfully happy.

"So will you marry me again, Mr. Doctor Cooper?" she teased.

He drew her closer. "As many times as you want." Then, flouting tradition, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her until it seemed that nothing else existed except for the two of them and the family their love had created.


End file.
